


Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder (Complete)

by I_hate_the_snow



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Cutting, Domestic Violence, F/F, F/M, Grief, Heartbreak, I thought you were dead, Moving On, Past secrets, Rape, Reunion, Sadness, Separation, Suicide Attempts, Terminus (mentioned), The Claimers (mentioned), bi-sexuality, mention of self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-08-29 12:04:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 43,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8488777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_hate_the_snow/pseuds/I_hate_the_snow
Summary: Shane took Lori and Carl away from Atlanta while Rick was still in his coma. When Rick wakes up he's on his own until he meets people at a survivor's camp. He soon becomes friends with a dreadlocked woman, and eventually lovers. Although Rick and Lori have moved on, what will happen when they meet up again five years later?





	1. Now and Then

 

_Memories in italics_

 

**Present Day**

Lori Grimes-Walsh was in a frenzy. She was in a rush wipe the blood off the floor before the kids woke up. With one hand she was using a towel to put pressure on her nose and eventually had to get another hand towel from under the sink to clean up the remaining few drops.

Shane slammed the door when he left for his morning walk, so she knew the kids would be up soon. Her hands were shaking while she ran to the washing machine, throwing in three blood stained towels before quickly walking upstairs to take a quick shower. That was the only way to clean the blood off her face, hair, and the stubborn stream that seeped down her neck and landed on her chest.

As she was toweling off she had to think of another way to tell Pete how she broke her nose yet again. "Walking into a wall" had already been used, and so had "tripping and falling." She had it planned, that she would tell the good doctor she was playing with the twins and Michael, her four years old son, threw a toy at her.

The sun was barely rising when she tip toed past the rooms of her daughters. How they slept through the fight was something she couldn't comprehend.  She didn't want to think that they became used to the chaos and fighting.

She started to walk down the stairs, one hand on the railing and one hand holding her still bleeding upper lip. After dropping her bloody pajamas and the towels she just used into the washing machine she turned the corner and saw her thirteen-year-old son, Carl, cleaning up the blood drops she had missed.

Before the tears in her eyes started to fall, she said a simple "morning bud" to her son.

"You alright, mom?"

She had to swallow a sob, thinking of how much Carl had changed since the world ended, and how much he looks like his dad. She refused to let her mind revisit the pain of losing Rick. Shane told her he was dead, and she witnessed the city as the helicopters drop napalm in the streets. Her heart ached every day, but she dared said anything to Shane.

"Mom?" Carl repeated, as he stood and moved closer. She walked into his outstretched arms, cursing herself for letting the cycle continue. She's the parent. She should be taking care of her son, not the other way around.

"I'm alright." She whispered, her voice cracking as she willed the tears away.

 

xxxxx

 

She watched as Carl walked out the front door. She kept track of the time. Five years. It was five years since he forced her from the home she very happily shared with Rick. Five years since she looked at his frail body hooked up to the machines which monitored his vitals. Five years since that horrible morning that she would give anything to take back. She had his pictures, all the family photo albums, hidden in two backpacks deep in her closet. The times when Shane would leave the house, which became more frequent, she would look back to her former life.

She looked at how handsome he was, and wished she could reach into the photos and hold him just one more time. Everything he ever gave her, from the earrings on their wedding day to the necklace she wore on the day Carl was born, and both his and hers matching wedding rings, were hidden in the pocket of the knapsack.

The one mistake she made by the side of the road so long ago still haunted her to the present day. Part of her was jealous that Rick was at peace. He didn't have to run from the undead or worry about the safe have they found collapsing around them.

She adored all five of her children. Carl was thirteen and had seen too much especially over the past half-decade. Michael, her son with Rick…a boy her husband never knew existed, looked more and more like his father every day. Her three daughters, three-year-old twins Katie and Kelly and two-year-old Shannon, were her world. She felt ashamed when she thought about manipulating Shane's food or do something to push him to his grave. The man who was best friends with her husband, and therefore best friends with her from the first year in high school until the age of thirty-two, when everything stopped. Everything changed. And she would do anything she could to go back to her former life.

 

xxxxxx

 

Lori opened the front door to welcome in Carl and Pete. The good doctor had her sit on one of the kitchen chairs as he reset her hose and, since there was no more lidocaine, she had a white knuckled grip onto the chair cushion as he stitched her lip.

"You gotta get away from him." Anderson said flatly.

"How? He's Deanna's right-hand man. We have five little kids. Deanna would never believe that her top security guy would do this." Lori said, her voice cracking as she blinked back tears.

Both Pete and Lori knew about Shane and Jessie having an affair, but neither wanted to mention it to each other.

Lori was defeated. Trapped in an abusive relationship. Shane called it a marriage, yet she never exchanged vows. She still considered herself married to Rick. She knew it was pointless and prayed every he was at peace. She knew it was ludicrous to cling to such an elusive memory. Whenever she would give Rick a kiss goodbye when he left for work she always expected him to come home that evening. She never thought that her visits to him in his coma would end and she would be near Washington, DC, almost six hundred miles away from everything she knew and loved.

Pete had to leave to back to his family, but before he did he gave his usual speech to Lori. Hold ice to her nose and the swelling should dissipate within a week. The days of prescribing medication were a thing of the past. No drug companies existed anymore, and any possible drugs they had to scavenge for at local hospitals and clinics were either expired or used years ago.

Carl helped bring his brother and three sisters downstairs and helped his mother prepare breakfast.

 

**Present day**

 

Rick lost track of the time and stopped counting the days years ago. His only picture of his family was the one he kept on his cruiser's sun visor. Back then it was a constant reminder for him to do whatever he could to get home to his family. Now, it was a wrinkled memory of his previous life. It took a year, maybe two, for him to realize Lori and Carl were gone.

He laid on the bottom bunk of the prison cell, staring up at the lone, worn picture. He wanted to reach into it and just touch his family one more time. He remembered so long ago, when he was in the coma when he could hear Lori's voice begging him to wake up. If he tried hard enough he could smell the cherry blossom land lotion she would rub onto his skin. He could taste her strawberry lip balm as she kissed him on the mouth, and promised she'd come back the next day.

_She never did, but that evening he heard screaming and gunshots from the hallway. The steady beeping of his heart monitor was shut off, and the hum of the building's air conditioning halted. The power cut out._

_After he fled from the hospital he ran to his home, the relief he felt when he was within the familiar walls quickly spread to dread when he couldn't find his family. Part of him knew there was a chance…all the family photo albums were gone. He thought to himself that nobody would break into a house, not even when the world ended, and take family pictures. He went to all the places when he kept a weapon, but they were all taken. So were the boxes of ammo hidden in one of the kitchen canisters._

_His neighbor, Morgan Jones, explained the situation about the dead coming back to life. The man gave him food and let him sleep in a real bed for the night. Early the next morning Rick went with Morgan and his son, Dwayne, to his former police station and cleaned out the cage of all of the guns and ammo._

_"Higher ground." Those were the two words he remembered Morgan saying. Rick immediately thought about the Eagles Nest Quarry, the place where he and Lori would always spend the evening when they were dating and newlyweds._

_With his heart in his throat he raced up the dirt roadway which took him to the familiar spot. He saw a dozen unfamiliar faces as he raced from one corner of the quarry to the other. No sign of Lori or Carl. Shane would have brought them here, hopefully, but there was no sign of anybody._

_He was walking up the trail from the pond, which held dozens of memories of him skinny dipping with Lori with only the moonlight to guide them. His eyes scanned the still water, not seeing a trace of anything familiar. He slowly started to walk back to the RV he saw until he snapped out of his trance by a toddler running towards the water._

_There was nobody around the boy, so Rick scooped him up and held him tightly. He returned to the tent area and saw a woman in a panic, screaming for her son._

_She saw Rick in the distance and ran towards him, thanking him profusely and taking the child from him._

_"Thank you. I'm Michonne. This is Andre."_

_"Rick. Nice to meet you." He said, and offered a small smile as they shook hands._

_He met the other members of the camp; the RV's owner, Dale, his lady friend Andrea and her sister, Amy, brothers Merle and Daryl Dixon, both of whom Rick knew from their criminal history, T-Dogg, Glenn, Jacqui and a meek woman named Carol, who was sitting in the distance with her daughter, Sophia. The father and husband of the two wasn't interested in meeting anyone and was sleeping in a booze induced haze in his tent._

_Over dinner that evening, which consisted of fresh caught fish fried over a campfire, everyone talked about what they used to do in their past life and what brought them together. Dale was a retired engineer, Andrea and Michonne were both attorneys, Glenn delivered pizzas, Carol was a homemaker, and Jacqui was a doctor. Rick passed around the only picture he had of his family and asked if anyone had seen the woman or child. His heart broke each time someone said no._

_At the camp everyone was given a job. Most of the men took turns sleeping inside the RV or standing guard._

_The harvest moon illuminated the camp with a soft, natural glow. It was a nice change from the pitch blackness they had the previous nights. Rick was sitting by himself, on a rock near the tree line. He watched as the woman with dreadlocks crawled out of her tent and walked over to him._

_"Hey." She said softly. "I'm sorry about your family."_

_Rick nodded in thanks._

_Michonne sat close to the man she met just hours earlier. They minutes ticked by in silence until Rick suddenly said "Lori was my lover, my best friend, the only person in the world I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. My son. I planned on coaching his little league team in the spring."  Rick took a deep breath before he continued. "You would've loved Lori. She was so beautiful. Nice to everyone. Kind to a fault. She had a sense of humor that I've never met before. She accepted me, warts and all. She saw me for me, and didn't run away."_

_Michonne could feel the weight of his pain, even as she shuddered in fear over the mention of an emotion she would never understand. The mention of a loss so terrifying that fear threatened to choke her. She couldn't imagine anyone learning to live with that, although she was surrounded by everyone who lost someone._

_She saw the raw anguish and half-shed tears on his face and moved closer to wrap her arms around him._

_Rick sat stiffly for a moment before his entire body began to shake; her arms engulfed him, and she rocked him back and forth like a child. Her shirt was soaked with his tears. She crooned nonsense, stroked his back, whispered that she was there but never once told him it would be alright._

_It felt like hours later, and for all Rick knew it could have been; when he became aware of where he was and who was hugging him. He drew a ragged breath in through his mouth; it only served to emphasize how raw his throat was, and leaned back._

_He was shocked to see that Michonne's face was covered in tears too. As that thought registered he felt the damp cloth of his shirt clinging to his shoulder, and the nape of his neck. "I miss them. I miss them every fucking second of every fucking day." He was drained…so wrung out that his skin felt brittle._

_"I know you do, but that doesn't mean you can't have a life or friends."_

_"Lori wouldn't want you to live this way."_

_"I know that too, but I can't breathe, sleep, I close my eyes and I see her smiling, laughing, her face flushed with love and passion. I hear my son's laugh. The morning…the last morning I saw them Lori and I had an argument. I'd do anything to have that time back."_

 

_xxxxx_

 

Rick slept on the outside edge of the small mattress. He knew sleep that night wasn't an option. Years later, he still couldn't erase the memory of Lori and Carl. Michonne never complained that the photo of her husband's first wife was taped to the bunk above them. Over the years, she consoled him dozens of times, and once, after they found solace at the farm, she sat on an outside porch with him as he polished off a bottle of scotch. She removed the Colt from its holster and refused to give it back to him, keeping in mind the numerous times he mentioned suicide.

He swung his legs over and sat up, looking back at Michonne and her protruding belly. He replaced the covers over his new wife, making sure she was warm in the cold cellblock. He quietly looked over in the playpen and smiled over their daughter, two-year-old Julia. Before he left the cell he checked the top bunk and fixed the blankets for Andre, his adopted son, who was locked in a heavy sleep.

He slid on his boots and quietly walked along the hall outside the cells, smiling to himself as he heard the soft moans and sound of skin slapping on skin as he passed the cell Beth and Daryl share. Same for Glenn and Maggie's cell and Sasha and Bob's

When he got to the bottom of the cellblock he checked the doors again, feeling reassured that they were safely locked inside. He didn't want to go to the kitchen, he didn't want to be away from anyone. He sat on the cold floor, resting his back against the wall. He loved Michonne, there was no doubt about that, but the not knowing about what happened to Lori and Carl was always gnawing at him.


	2. Lori

**Five Years Ago**

<

Lori was sitting by Rick's side, holding his hand and begging him to wake up.

"Squeeze my hand, baby. Please. Let me know you hear me. I love you so much. I love you, and I know you care about me and Carl. I have news for you, and I'll tell you if you wake up, okay, that's a deal. Please wake up."

Hours later, after the beeping of the monitors lulled her into a deep sleep, Shane walked into the room and saw her still holding his hand, her head resting on his chest. He walked over to her and placed his hand on her shoulder to wake her up.

She didn't say anything when she awoke, but her grip on his hand remained steady.

"It's almost three. Carl's gonna be getting off the bus soon. Go home and get some rest."

She shook her head. "No. No way. I'm staying here."

In frustration, Shane snapped at her. "Lori, listen. You look like shit. You can't live off vending machine food and hospital food. Go home, get a good night's sleep and spend time with your kid. I'll stay here."

She shook her head in protest, but Shane was insistent. "You're no use to anyone here. Go home to your kid."

Lori turned her attention back to her husband. "Baby, I hope you can hear me. I love you so much. I'm going home, but I'll be back tomorrow. Shane's here. I love you. So much." She slipped her hand into his. "I'll be back first thing in the morning. You're not alone. I'm gonna take care of Carl. You'll be fine. I love you."

Shane shook his head in pity as he noticed two tears fell out of her eyes and onto Rick's pillow. "I'm not leaving you alone. Shane's here."

She looked up at her longtime friend and quietly mumbled, "I can't do this." As her voice cracked.

"Yes, you can. You have to. For your own health. I know he'll get better. And Carl needs both their parents. Go take care of yourself."

Lori nodded, then turn back to her husband. "I'll be back in the morning." she whispered into Rick's ear, before kissing him on the lips, telling Shane "thank you."

She reluctant left the room.

 

xxxxx

 

Rick could hear the television switch from the news to the Braves game and was screaming at himself to wake up.

An hour later, Shane's snoring was interrupted by screaming. After he grabbed his gun he ran to the hallway to see what was happening. He ripped open the door and thought he was dreaming…with his own eyes he saw a man eating the arm of another man, who was screaming for help.

Whatever was happening, it was one person after another. He ran back into the room and over to the window, and saw absolute panic in the dimly lit parking lot. Blood was everywhere. People were attacking others, and after people were getting shot, they would be still for just a moment and then slowly stand. Then he saw the people fall. From his spot on the third floor he saw people falling from the fourth floor and above. They would hit the ground and the body would almost disintegrate. But he was taken aback when what looked like what was just half a body and a head started crawling around.

He said to Rick, "Nice knowing ya." As he ran out of the room to his car.

 

xxxxx

 

Lori tried to ease the pain of Rick's absence by being the "fun" mom, completely different from what she usually was. After she left Rick's side she went home, greeted Carl as he got off the bus and started dinner.

She made a quick dish of chicken and noodles, Carl's favorite. In a desperate attempt to keep things as normal as possible, she asked him about his day and tried to pretend that Rick was working an evening shift.  After dinner was over she helped with homework and told her son she had a surprise for him, which she'll show him after he brushes his teeth and gets into his pajamas

When Carl downstairs, he was happy to see the treat his mother had  Lori set up a pop-up tent, small but it would do, and when they looked inside had a new Ninja Turtles sleeping bag.  Lori's plan to "camp out" but still enjoy the safety and comfort of their living room work well. They turned off all the lights and pretended to rely on flashlights. They played a game of chase when the flashlight beam landed on the wall.

Almost an hour passed, and she marveled over how quickly her son could fall asleep so quickly. He looked so much like Rick. She can't do this without him. She slipped out of the tent and double checked the door lock, then picked up her cell phone to call the hospital to check on Rick.

No signal.

She didn't think much of it until she tried the landline phone, and when the line was dead she became concerned. Lori tip toed into the home office and brought Rick's laptop out to where Carl was, powering it up and going to the local on-line police scanner.

Nothing.

The lights were still off in the house. Countless times Rick responded to calls of car accidents which took out a telephone pole, meaning electricity and phone service, cell and regular, would be out for a while.

She looked into the tent and saw her baby, then spread out on the sofa, just feet from where Carl laid. It was when it was the quietness of the house grabbed onto her. _Rick needed to be there_. There was nobody to call, and her son was asleep. She missed her husband so much it physically hurt. She stood up and walked around the dark room, using her flashlight as a guide. The light landed on the wedding picture in the hallway. She looked at her husband…he was so handsome. His smile could light up a room, and he was always generous with affection.

The cold, dark room mimicked her mood. She was terrified of losing him. Despite their differences, she was truly, madly, deeply in love with him. She found his way back to the couch and laid on her back, staring into the darkness. It took well over an hour for sleep to finally claim her, and just as she drifted off she heard what she thought was thunder.

 

xxxxx

 

The next morning she was, as usual, the first to wake up. The sun filtered through the curtains, slowly warming the house with a bright yellow glow. She slipped into the powder room, and had to fight back not only her emotions but a sudden wave of morning sickness. Only a trickle of water came out of the faucet.

Carl was still asleep when she went to the kitchen to make coffee, used the bottled water from the fridge, and sighed in frustration when the Keurig wouldn't turn on.

Lori walked down to the basement and flipped the circuit breaker before heading back upstairs.

"Morning, buddy." She said to Carl when she got back to the top of the steps. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"Chocolate milk and Fruit Loops." He responded, still half asleep.

Lori was back in the kitchen, trying different outlets for the coffeemaker.

"Mom, the toilet won't flush." Carl told his mom, as he walked out of the bathroom. "And the TV won't turn on."

Lori thought back to the last noise she heard before falling asleep. The thunder. "I think we had a storm last night. Musta knocked out the power and phone lines."

_But the water?_

She opened the fridge and noticed the light wasn't on, neither was the constant hum of the appliance.

"Mom, what's wrong?" Carl asked.

"I don't know, baby. Musta been the storm or an accident." She picked up her cell phone.

No signal.

She picked up the receiver for the home phone.

Nothing.

She tried the TV, and sure enough, there was no power.  The idea of her sleeping through a storm so strong that it would cause severe damage was quashed.  Rick, always thinking ahead, kept a radio under the kitchen sink. She put it on the counter and scanned through the dial.

Nothing but static.

"Mom, what's going on?" Carl repeated.

"I don't know, bud."

She looked out of the kitchen window…the street was dry, and it wasn't warm enough to make whatever rain that fell evaporate so quickly.

There was no way to contact anyone.

_I gotta get Rick._

 

_xxxxx_

 

She calmly told Carl to get dressed and packed a small bag with weapons and extra ammo, went to the garage and loaded her precious cargo into the family minivan, manually opened the door and backed out. She planned on dropping him off at school and finding out what was going on.

She got her first hint of fresh air was when she stepped out of the vehicle to manually close the door. It was eerily quiet. No barking dogs, no hum of any cars, no sound of an airplane.

 

xxxxx

 

The streets were too empty for a Thursday morning.

"Mom, what about school?" Carl asked.

It was almost as tough Lori didn't hear her son…she gave him no answer.

She saw some people walking, slowly, down the road. They were stumbling more than walking. She passed a few overturned cars, thinking there may have been a riot…but nothing was burned, the glass windows in some stores were unbroken.

Her heart sank when she got to the hospital. There were white sheets covering what looked like human bodies strewn around the parking lot. She noticed one of the nurses who was in charge of Rick's care, or what was left of her. She was covered in blood, and had an obvious shot to the chest. _But she was still moving_. Lori panicked when she looked around and noticed others were the same way. They looked horrible…almost like zombies were walking around. She had to get Rick.

"Mom?" Carl repeated.

Lori swallowed a sob when she realized it wasn't safe to take her son into the hospital to get her husband, and she couldn't leave him alone in the car. She turned the vehicle around and sped home.

 

xxxxx

 

"We'll be fine." She told Carl, trying to stay calm.

"I want dad." The boy answered, his voice cracking.

"Me too." Lori responded, on the verge of tears, as she sped home, one hand on the steering wheel and one hand on the radio, scanning through the dial to find information.

 

xxxxx

 

She noticed Shane's car in the driveway as she pulled up. He was already inside the house, filling up shopping bags with food and had all the bottled water from the pantry placed in his vehicle.

Lori hopped out and demanded to know what's going on.

"We need to leave. Now." He said gruffly. "Go pack clothes and get all Rick's guns. Now."

When he yelled at her she snapped out of her trance. She grabbed a backpack and loaded it up with family photo albums, then put the bag aside as she reached for a suitcase Shane had brought up from downstairs.

Lori ran upstairs and quickly filled the luggage, one for her and one for Carl. She took plastic shopping bags and filled them with hygiene and personal products, comfort items and just as Shane was filling the minivan she ran downstairs once more to the storage area and quickly took the plastic container marked "maternity clothes."

Within twenty minutes the house was stripped of anything that could be used as a weapon, along with anything that held sentimental value. Shane got into his cruiser and Lori in the van, her body shaking uncontrollably as she pulled out of her driveway and into the unknown.

 

xxxxx

 

Lori was watching the remains of her city…her hometown… burn.  Shane’s words of “they’re dropping napalm in the streets” reverberated through her mind. 

_Rick’s there._   She thought to herself.  _I couldn’t get to him.  My love…_

“Carl’s asleep in the car.”  Shane’s voice startled her.  “Sorry.”  He said, with a tight smile.  “I’m sorry, Lori.  I tried.”

She was a widow.  Her children will grow up without a father.  She needed her husband.  He was her first love.  Her true love.  She felt empty.  Broken.

Shane started to rub her back as he saw the big, silent tears flow down her cheeks.  She turned and buried her face in his chest and unleashed deep sobs. 

Comforting hugs turned into aggressive kisses from Shane.  Lori tried to protest as he strongly sucked on her neck while pressing his engorged crotch against her.

“Shane…I can’t” She whispered.

Without a word Shane led her to a spot behind a tree and she willingly laid down.  She needed to feel something.  She just lost the love of her life, and she needed to feel alive again.

She didn’t protest what Shane was doing.  There was no stopping him what he in an almost manic state.  She almost yelped when he plunged into her, and had to bite her lip to avoid screaming in pain as his thrusts became animalistic.  Lori gave up and surrendered to what was happening.  He came hard, deep inside, pulled out roughly and already had his pants back on when he left the small clearing and went back to the car.

Lori flopped her head back on the cold, wet grass and put her hand over her face, and started sobbing.  What did she do to make this happen?  She wanted to believe it was all a dream.  She screamed at herself to wake up, blind to the reality of what her life was at that moment.

Her legs were shaking as she walked back to the minivan.  To her son.  To the minivan she bought with Rick in the hopes of filling it up with children.  She looked around, her eyes scanning the cars for someone to help.  Shane was relieving himself about ten feet away from where everyone was.  She wanted to scream.


	3. Rick's Journey

**Three Years Ago**

 

After the chance meeting at the quarry two years ago, the two had formed a strong bond.  The first night they met Rick cried over his lost family, and Michonne was there to catch every tear.  Weeks later, as the larger, miss-matched family mourned the losses of Jacqui, Dale, Ed and Amy, Rick and Michonne talked to each other, getting more emotionally closer.

Michonne watched from a distance as Rick, physically and mentally exhausted, hallucinated and “saw” Lori.  She knew.  She knew what it was like.  She talked to her mother and her ex-boyfriend sometimes, finding solace in her loved ones. 

When four year old Andre was in the safe care of Carol, Rick and Michonne went on a solo supply run.  The first grocery store was almost stripped bare and there was an overwhelming stench of rotting food, but no walkers.  It was getting late, and rather than risk traveling back to the safe house they found, the two secured the door of an abandoned 7-11 and used old shipping covers from the back of the store as blankets for a make shift bed.

They sat on opposite sides of an aisle, both with their backs against empty shelves.

“Andre’s been calling me dad,” Rick said, flatly.

Michonne looked at her hands while saying “you okay with that?”

“Yeah.  It’s nice to hear that word again.  Michonne.  When I woke up in that hospital bed I was scared.  Confused would be an understatement.  I went to my home and it was empty.  I had a glimmer of hope because all the family picture albums were gone.  Lori would have done that.  I loved that woman with my soul.  My son, nobody could take his place.  It’s been…two years?  I lost count.  But I still miss them.  You’ve stood with me when times were tough.  You understood.”  Rick was trying to remember the speech he had planned. 

“I guess what I’m saying is that for years I feel like I’m walking on the edge of a bridge, waiting to jump off.  But seeing Andre look at me as a father figure…I saw he needed me just like I needed my son.  He brought me back.  Lori will always be a part of me, but you brought me back.”

They locked eyes in the dimly lit store.  Michonne’s heart was thundering in her chest when she saw Rick move from sitting with his back against the shelf to his knees and move towards her.

He couldn’t take his eyes off her face.  Her plump lips were his to touch, lick, ravage.  Without a word he began to undress her, raising her thin tank top over her head and cast it to the side. 

“You’re beautiful.”  He whispered.

His jaw tightened as he reached to unfasten her bra, the anticipation building in his body. 

Her fingers worked at unbuckling his belt and the bulge made it difficult to bring the zipper down.

After he removed her bra he stared at her curvy, muscular body, his eyes wandering all over her impossibly flat stomach.  He lowered his pants, freeing his erection.  Their mouths crashed together. Hot and lustful for their first kiss. 

She laid back on the old blankets on the floor and he climbed on top of her, ravishing her mouth and reveling in his primal need. 

“Oh God…”  She whispered when he raised his head from leaving a trail of kisses on her neck.  His straining cock pressed against the apex of her thighs.  Rick hissed when her fingernails scraped his back.  Her breasts were beautiful, and her hips bucked as he tenderly sucked on her left nipple while rolling her right one between his fingers. 

“Rick...”  She growled.  She parted her legs, never breaking eye contact. 

She clenched her teeth as she felt him slide into the most sensitive part of her.  They never broke eye contact, even as he penetrated her.  Her mouth fell open and a shay cry escaped her throat.  It was years since she felt so full, so content. 

“You alright?”  He asked, after she closed her eyes tightly and her fingers held his back tightly. 

“Gonng cum.”  She mumbled, barely audible.

“Do it, baby.”  He lowered his hand and he found her clit, rubbing it with abandon.  She cried out and arched her back as her climax tore through her body.  She heard his deep, primal grunts as if from a distance.  He continued to rub her sweet spot as he began to thrust harder. 

She moaned and stared at him.  He looked at her, his handsome face so beautiful, his eyes so wild.  Their union was a force of nature.  His strokes became longer, even more forceful.  She didn’t have to tell him what she wanted, he rolled onto his back and let her take the top position.  She sat straight up, taking in every inch of his cock. 

Rick gritted his teeth as he felt his balls tighten, ready for a long overdue relief. 

As if by fate, Michonne pushed her hips firmly down on Rick’s crotch just as he came, bursting out wave after wave of cum deep inside of her.

She laid down on top of him, her breasts squeezing against his chest.  They held onto each other as they caught their breath, then shared a long, lingering kiss as they laid naked together.  Wordlessly, they waited for sleep to claim them.

 

**Two Years Ago**

 

The sun was shining brightly in the bedroom of the Greene home.  Carol was in another room with Andre, who at five years old didn’t need to see his mother scream in agony.

Rick was sitting behind her, letting her fall back and rest her back against his chest. 

“You’re almost there, baby.  Deep breath.  You can do it.”  He whispered, encouraging her.  “We need to build a strong army…remember?”  He joked.

“You’re fucking crazy!”  She yelled, as another contraction tore through her body. 

Hershel and Bob Stookey was ready to help deliver the newest Grimes into the world.

“One more push, ‘Chone.” The doctor told her.

Michonne was exhausted and lying back on Rick, his body encompassing hers.  He took a quick glance at his arms, which were littered with half-moon shaped divots where she grabbed onto him.  He used a cloth to wipe her forehead and kissed her cheek as he encouraged her to try just once more.

She muffled a loud scream as she grabbed Rick’s upper thighs, digging her nail into his skin as she pushed, finally feeling a large relief when the final contraction released

"Beautiful baby girl." Hershel said, smiling.

"She okay?" Rick croaked out, before his sobs took over.

"Perfect. Absolutely perfect." Bob said with a smile, placing the newborn on Michonne's chest.

"Baby girl....my baby girl. I love you, Michonne. Oh shit I love you." he kissed her several times before focusing his attention on the baby.

"She needs a name." Hershel said, smiling warmly.

Michonne's eye were streaked with tears when she looked at Rick and asked "Julia?"

Rick nodded his head "Julia. After ‘Chonne’s mother."

“Julia Lori.”  Michonne added, wanting to honor the woman she never met but wanted to know.

"Beautiful. Beautiful name for a beautiful baby."  Bob smiled.

 

xxxxx

 

They spent two years at the Greene farm.  They settled down, moved in and helped Hershel turn the basement into proper living quarters.  Hershel was happy to have muscle…Rick, Daryl, Bob and Ty, to keep his land and his daughters safe. 

Daryl took the advice of Carol and Michonne and let the grey haired woman give him a haircut in order to impress Hershel.  The not-so-secret crush Beth had on the redneck was reciprocated, and their first date consisted of walking around the farm, under the watchful eye of Hershel. 

Quiet walks soon became hiding in the horse stables, with Daryl holding Beth’s ass as she wrapped her legs around her torso and rode him hard, the wood from the barn scratching her back, but Beth didn’t care.

The couples became clear, Michonne and Rick, Maggie and Glenn, Sasha and Bob, Daryl and Beth, Hershel and Carol, and despite her attempts to seduce Ty, T, and Merle, Andrea stayed single.

 

xxxxx

 

 

Nobody went by a calendar anymore, so after the first snowfall they decided to celebrate Christmas.  What once was a morning filled with the sound of gift paper being torn apart was now a quiet union of the large family, quietly sitting together and reflecting on the past, but focusing on the future.

Several days after what they called Christmas, Michonne walked into the living room and saw Rick holding baby Julia, just the two sitting on the couch.

He had a far-away look in his eyes, and she knew why.  Going by the timeline they invented, it would have been New Year’s Eve.  The day Rick and Lori got married.  It bothered her less today than it did in the past.  She remembered the first time she saw his expression.  He was dewy eyed and staring off in the distance.  At first she was jealous, knowing that he was thinking about his first wife.  But she had an odd feeling of happiness, knowing that his feelings for someone were all consuming and powerful. 

For Rick, the stinging pain of not having Lori and Carl in his life became a distant ache, always there, but not as powerful with each passing day.  He had a new wife, her son, whom he adored, and a baby girl.  He thought about how Michonne was so willing to give their daughter “Lori” for a middle name, and how much that mattered to him.  She had his heart in the palm of her hands.

 

**One Year Ago**

 

The night the farm fell was still etched in his memory.  The men looked friendly.  He let his guard down…he wasn’t thinking and greeted Dave and Tony warmly. 

What was supposed to be a kind gesture of giving them food and water, expecting them to be on their way, turned into an attack as more than thirty men attacked the house during the middle of the night.  Rick was still brought to tears thinking of Merle, and T being either shot by the invaders or torn apart by the walkers. 

Rick cast a long, longing look at the picture of him with Lori and Carl, taped to the bottom of Andre’s bunk.  After a while, he got out of the cell’s bunk, removing his arm from around Michonne’s torso and belly.  The first hint of sunrise was starting to light up the prison block.  He covered Julia, Michonne, and Andre with blankets as he slipped out of the cell and walked down the stairs, smiling as he hears the sound of moans and skin on skin as he passed a few cells.

He didn’t think about Andrea until someone mentioned her name.  While he didn’t want to wish harm to anyone, his heart did not bleed for the blonde.  They met new friends along the way, retired Marine Abraham Ford, his wife Ellen and children, Rebecca and Abraham junior.  His brother, Allen Ford, was an Army Ranger and shared his grief over losing a spouse with Rick.  Allen focused on his five-year-old twins, William and Benjamin. 

The men got together one day and talked about going out to scavenge for baby supplies since Maggie, Beth, Sasha and Michonne were pregnant. 

 

**Present Day**

 

The man was a maniac.  He attacked the prison in the middle of the night, firing a rocket-propelled grenade at the watchtower, killing Allen and Ty. 

They were scattered, weakened and broken.  Rick had his family…Michonne, Andre, Julia and delivered his own baby, his second daughter with Michonne, in an abandoned vehicle.  Andre and Julia were in the back seat, both crying when they heard their mother in such pain.  Soon, their cries were joined by a new, stronger one.  Catherine Ellen Grimes was healthy and had a strong cry.  The new family of five stayed in the vehicle, using it to drive to a day care center.  Rick told Michonne to stay with the children while he went to clear the building, and when he knew it was safe, he ushered his family inside and used a cord from a lamp to tie the door shut. 

They thought they could make the center a home…a form of refuge.  On the second day, just before Rick was going on a supply run, they were both startled by a knock on the door.

He said his name was Aaron.


	4. Hello

The ache in Lori's lower back ripped her out of a restless sleep. She stared at the ceiling for a few moments and focused on her breathing, recalling in detail the argument from last night. Quietly, she pulled back the covers and moved her legs to the edge of the mattress. She focused on the deep bruises on her legs and thighs, and wondered how much longer she could live like that. Or how much longer she could live. How much longer Shane would let her live. She looked at him and thought she could end it. One shot to the head. But then she'd face Deanna and face exile. She wouldn't go anywhere without her children, but with five children and a dead world, she'd be lost.

Being careful as to not to disrupt Shane's sleep, she slowly stood and limped to the bathroom. When she washed up she took a long look at her reflection in the mirror. The still prominent bruises under her eyes had turned a dark shade of purple. She had Shane's handprints on her throat, and she winced when she lifted her shirt and saw the half-moon shaped marks on her back where he kicked her while wearing his old boots.

She was terrified to make any sound to awake the man who ruined her life. Lori walked to her bureau and pulled out her clothing, choosing a long sleeved shirt to hide the bruises.

When she stepped into the kitchen she was finally able to relax. Her toes cold when her feet hit the cold floor. She put together the basic ingredients for pancake batter and poured the mix onto the griddle.

Calmly, she drank some of the fresh squeezed orange juice and waited for her family to wake up. The stillness of the morning was what she considered to be "her" time. Before five children and an abusive husband were running around the house…she enjoyed the silence. She walked over to the floor to ceiling window and watched as the sun slowly began to rise, bringing another day to the world God forgot about.

The early mornings before the world ended were so much different. She'd be the first to wake up, use fresh, store bought items for the breakfast she would make for Rick and Carl. If she closed her eyes and concentrated she could bring those memories back to life. She could smell the fresh coffee brewing as she opened her laptop to check her Facebook and the local news. She pictured herself in her kitchen, her familiar home, filled with comfort and laughter. It was home.

Most days Rick would come downstairs and join her. Just the two of them, enjoying the pre-dawn moments. Sometimes one look would lead to another and Rick would take her by the hand and lead her to the powder room off the kitchen, as to avoid doing anything should Carl wake up.

Rick was always so gently. She knew he loved her, and he was her heart and soul. There was no shortage of kisses, from her mouth and leading a trail to her neck, shoulder and breast. She wanted to go back to those simple days, when everything was normal and the dead weren't walking around.

"The fuck?"

The booming voice snapped her out of her trance. She almost dropped her glass as she ran to the stove and frantically tried to save the burnt pancakes.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Shane. I'll remake them." She was in a full blown panic attack as she scraped the scorched food off the griddle. Fear shot through her and her hands were shaking as she was trying to clean up the mess she made.

"The fuck you will." She heard before she felt her hair being jerked back, making her body jolt violently.

Her hip connected with the corner of the granite covered island before she fell to the floor. She immediately started sobbing.

"Shane…I'm sorry. Please. I'm sorry."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" He bellowed, his voice echoing throughout the once quiet home.

"Shane, honey…the kids. Please don't wake them." She tried to reason.

He grabbed the hot cooking surface and yelled in pain as he felt the skin on his hand burn. In one move he threw the hot griddle in Lori's direction, missing her by inches. The hot oil from the food hit her skin, adding to the litany of scars. In a blind rage he reached for the glass she just used and heaved it at her, fuming as the glass shattered into a million little pieces right near her leg.

"You fucking bitch." He yelled, before ripping off his belt and whipping his wife.

Over time she learned to stifle the screams…they only made him angrier. She learned to just be still and let it happen. She curled up into the fetal position and covered her head, the shards of glass cutting into her skin, and just waited for him to stop.

xxxxx

Rick was weary and anxious. He met this man, who seemed pleasant, and after frisking him he found a hunting knife and handgun. Typical weapons for surviving at the end of the world. He was trusting this man with not only his life but the life of his wife and their three children. But he was desperate. Baby Catherine was only weeks old and Michonne needed extra food in order to breastfeed. He was concerned about her mental health, and the physical health of all three of his children. Andre was very tall for a seven-year-old, but painfully thin.

The officer sat in the passenger seat, keeping his eye on the young man. Michonne was in the backseat with Andre, Julia and Catherine, holding them close to her body and trying to keep her emotions bottled up.

Rick's jaw dropped when he saw the neighborhood, called "Alexandria Safe Zone." It was over a dozen homes surrounded by a wall. He watched as someone who was on some sort of platform motioned to somebody down below. The double gate system reminded him of the prison, and after Aaron pulled into the community he drove up to a house that looked like something out of a magazine, years ago when life existed.

"You can go in and talk to Deanna. We have a doctor here, and his wife can bring over clothes for the kids and yourself. You'll be given a house which you may have to share with another family, but we're all a family here." Aaron told the Grimes family, smiling proudly at the opportunities they offered.

Rick nodded in thanks, overwhelmed with his new surroundings. He helped Michonne out of the car and carried Julia in his arm. He held Andre's hand as they went inside to talk to Deanna.

xxxxx

The family of five sat together on a designer settee. They were in what Deanna called the "great room." It was decorated with expensive art and looked as if it were a model house. Rick, sensing Michonne's anxiety, reached for her hand, their fingers entwined. She glanced at him and offered a small smile.

"How long have you been out there?" the petite brown haired woman asked.

"Since the beginning."

"How did you all find each other? Did you know each other before or…?"

"No, we didn't know each other before." Rick sighed, cautiously guarding every word as he spoke to this new woman.

There was a short lull in the conversation until Deanna broke the silence. "I was a congressperson.  
Ohio, 15th district. What about you?"

"I don't think it matters anymore."

"Oh, I know it does."

"What is this place?"

"This is the start of sustainability. That's what the brochures we found say. This was a planned community with its own solar grid, cisterns, eco-based sewage filtration. Starting at eight-hundred thousand. If there is such a thing anymore. My family and I were trying to get back to Ohio so I could help my district manage the crisis. The army stopped us on a back road and directed us here.  
They were supposed to come later. They didn't. But there were supplies here and we made the best of it."

"You put up the wall?" Michonne asked, breaking her silence.

"Well, there was this huge shopping mall being built nearby. And my husband Reg is a professor of architecture. He got the first plates up with our sons. And after a few weeks, more people arrived and we had help. We had a community."

"You've been behind these walls this entire time?" Rick asked.

Deanna nodded. "We need people who have lived out there. Your family is one of the first we've even considered taking in for a long time. We allowed a couple with an infant to live with us just two weeks ago."

She became quiet and added, "Northern Virginia was effectively evacuated. Millions of people gone.  
For a long time, there's hardly been anyone here, living or dead, but still we have lost people."

"What do you want from us?" Rick asked, nervously.

"These families…these families should be able to raise their children in a safe environment.  
Your son, your daughters, should have a place to grow up. I want you to help us survive. I see community. We have animals and crops. We have safety. The only thing we'll ask from you is helping out with security. Michonne, you can be on the security team or be one of the full time moms here. We have dozens of little ones. We share what we need, from cribs to clothes. So, Rick, what do you think? Will you join our family?"

xxxxx

As Deanna was standing on the sidewalk outside her home she was showing Rick and Michonne the basics of the neighborhood. When she noticed that Michonne looked exhausted, she said, "We'll let you clean up in this house right here." She pointed to a home across the street. "I'll have Pete, our doctor, come over and check you all out. There are clean clothes in each house, and Jessie, that's Pete's wife, will bring over stuff for those beautiful babies. Now, let's go get you cleaned up."

The small group walked to the large Dutch colonial with a wrap around porch. Michonne nervously grabbed Rick's hand as they walked up the seven steps to the front door, and he pulled her closer, giving her a kiss on the forehead before the anxiety took over.

Rick was anxious to find out who he would be sharing a home with. He has to protect his family. He didn't want strangers around his wife or children. He lost one family, he's not going to lose another one.

Within a minute of Deanna ringing the doorbell the door opened, and the resident locked eyes with Rick.

"Daryl?"

The two men embraced and Beth, who just woke up from a nap ran over to give her friends hugs and kisses.

"I take it you know each other?" Deanna smiled.

"Yeah. We got separated months ago." Michonne said, as tears streamed down her face.

Deanna smiled and said "Get comfortable. See you soon."

Beth led Andre to the guest bathroom on the first floor and let him take a shower then bathed weeks old Catherine in the sink and Daryl gave Julia a bath in one of the bathrooms on the second floor. With their children being under a watchful, caring eye, Michonne started the water to the shower and peeled off her filthy clothes she wore for months.

Rick was at the sink, using Daryl's razor to shave off his bushy beard. Michonne joined him and picked up the pair of scissors he used, and began to clip off her dreadlocks.

"Baby…what are you doing?"

"Gotta get rid of these." She said. "They're dirty. It'd be nice to have a fresh start..."

He placed his hand on her arm, asking if she was okay.

"I'm fine. This is good." She smiled, thinking of shelter for the first time in months.

He finished shaving and watched as she snipped off the last dread before stepping into the shower.

He quickly shook off his clothes, adding them to the pile with hers, and opened the glass door to the shower stall. There was no doubt what was on his mind when he stepped under the water.

"Michonne." Rick said, his voice dripping with lust.

Rick carefully squeezed some liquid soap onto a washcloth and started washing her shoulders, trailing his hand down her back. He smiled when she took a second cloth and started massaging his chest, moving her hand down to his stomach.

As their mouths crashed together and their tongues battled for dominance, Michonne starting stroking his rock hard erection.

"Careful, baby…that thing's loaded."

She chuckled and replied, "I was hoping on that."

After ravishing her neck and rubbing her slick breasts he asked if she's feeling okay.

"Just be a little gentle. No roller coaster this time." She joked.

She turned around and bent over, grabbing the towel rack to maintain her balance.

xxxxx

When they were finished they were thankful for the clean clothes Beth and Daryl provided, Rick dressed in a black tee shirt and a pair of blue jeans, Michonne pulled on a pair of black sweatpants and a plain white tee.

"So glad to be clean." Michonne said, before cupping Rick's face in her hands. "It's been a long time since I've seen your face like that. You're so handsome."

He started massaging her ass and pulled her closer to him. "I love you." He whispered before they started kissing deeply again.

xxxxx

They were smiling as they held hands and arrived in the living room, meeting Pete Anderson, who just finished examining Andre, Julia and Catherine.

Doctor Anderson shook hands with Rick and Michonne, telling them that their children are healthy, and offered examinations to them as well.

"I was talking to Daryl and Beth. You guys have been out there since the beginning?"

"Yeah." Rick answered, flatly.

"I don't know how you did it. I was chief of surgery at Grady Hospital…about half an hour away. My family and I had just moved into our home here, then everything started to fall apart. Jessie, my wife, was at the grocery store when a dozen people ran in and started grabbing food and water. She thought it was a riot, so she left and tried to get the kids from school. I was at work," He sighed, recalling the memory that constantly haunts him. "It started with people screaming in the ER. People, or what looked like people…" He paused when he noticed Andre was listening intently.

"Anyway, it was bad. I drove home, and that was it. Deanna arrived and her husband built the wall. People started coming here for safety, thinking that since we're close to Washington that there'd be a cure. There never was." His voice trailed off, and the house was quiet, the only noises coming from Catherine Grimes and Annette Dixon.

xxxxx

Pete was in the guest bedroom, examining Michonne as Rick was sitting at the table, eating his first warm meal in months. Beth was holding both infants as the officer was listening to Daryl talk about his run in with a group of men who had some sort of odd code for ….. Daryl didn't even flinch when he told Rick about what he did to the man they called "Joe."

"'nette was just born, and they said they were gonna take her. That wasn't gonna happen."

Rick was solemn, then asked "the prison…we found your guys…have you seen anyone?"

Daryl shook his head no, immediately putting his arm around Beth, who didn't know the fates of her sister and father.

xxxxx

Pete gave Michonne a clean bill of health and the two joined their new, extended family.

The room was suddenly filled tension when Jessie arrived and offered to give the two haircuts. She trimmed Rick's hair back to the crisp "cop cut," and fixed Michonne's hair, shaving off the bumps of the removed dreadlocks. She had a thin, peach fuzz layer of hair covering her scalp.

"You're beautiful." Rick said, holding her hand.

Catherine had fallen asleep and Julia was rambunctious, so Rick offered to take his love, his daughter and Andre for a walk.

Rick was holding Julia in one arm, her arms wrapped around his neck, and his other hand was firmly holding Michonne's, their fingers entwined. He pulled her closer and kissed her forehead.

"This is a new start." He said, happily. "This is our life. This is good." He smiled broadly.

As they walked down Marshal Street and onto Morgan Avenue, they turned bumped into a young man who was walking with a young child.

Rick froze, as his eyes pierced through the teenager. "Carl?" He asked, his voice cracking.

Carl's face went pale, and he answered "Dad?"

 


	5. I Found You

Michonne wiped tears from her eyes as she watched Rick and Carl, father and son, finally reunite.   Each thought the other was long dead, and they were sobbing as they held onto each other. She remembered the unimaginable grief Rick endured when the pain of his loss was still fresh. It was just months after she lost her ex-boyfriend in a car accident....she knew the pain. Back when the world was alive. She couldn’t imagine losing a child. She felt a wave of pride watching Rick begin to feel alive again.

“Coral, who’s that man?” Michael asked.

Carl wiped away his tears and looked down at his little brother.

“This is my dad, Mike. This is my real dad.” Carl said, his voice a mixture of pride and overwhelming heart breaking emotions.

“Like Daddy Shane?”

Rick’s gut clenched when he heard an old, familiar name.

“No, bud. This is my real dad.” Carl replied, looking back at Rick, now tall enough so he was eye to eye with his father.

Rick squatted down to meet the four year old and stunned. He was looking into the same sky blue eyes he sees in the mirror.

“Hi Mike. My name is Rick.”

He offered his hand to the young boy, who took it and said “nice to meet you, sir.”

With his eyes still on Michael, Rick stood and asked his son, “your mom?”

Carl nodded and offered a tight smile. “This way.”

He turned towards a grey house with white shutters before Rick put his hand on Carl’s shoulder.

“Carl…this is Michonne. My wife. This is our daughter, Julia and that’s Andre, my stepson. We have a newborn, too. She’s with friends in another house.”

The younger Grimes surprised Michonne by wrapping his arms around her and giving her a snug embrace. “Nice to meet you. Thanks for taking care of my dad.”

She held the boy tightly, and as her hands rubbed his back she felt lines of broken skin. When Carl broke the hug and started to step back he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

He looked at his father and said sadly, “Shane told us you were dead. I thought you were dead. Shane’s changed. He’s not a good guy anymore. He’s really mean to mom.”

Rick knew what Carl meant, but it pained him to acknowledge what he was hearing. He pulled Carl into a tight embrace, whispering that everything will be better now.

His hands were shaking as he bounded up the steps and opened the door. He saw three young girls sitting quietly in the corner, all of whom turned to watch what this new man was going to do.

The floor plan was the same as his house, and from the hallway he saw a tall, slender woman with long black hair. The woman he grieved for almost every day over the past five years. She was washing dishes at the sink and had her hair tied back in a ponytail…the style he loved to see her wear.

He approached her cautiously, and with his heart thundering in his chest, softly said, “Lori.”

xxxxx

She was busy scrubbing the plate Shane said was dirty. She had to get it clean. She didn’t want to make him angry.

Lori heard her name, said by a voice she’d never forget. She thought it was wishful thinking, again, until she turned the water off and glanced behind her. The plate slipped out of her wet hands and fell into the sink, making a loud thud as it split into two pieces.

Her light brown eyes were looking into the blue eyes she loved, but she was frozen in place.

“Am I dreaming?” She whispered.

Rick was a mass of emotions of seeing Lori again, but that happiness was soon quashed when he saw her bruises. The marks on her face were several shades of purple and green. Her body was frail, broken.

He stepped forward and slowly pulled her into his arms.

“I’m dreaming. You’re not here.” She said, as she started to sob hysterically. “Oh my God…Oh my God…please. Please….oh my God.” She frantically grabbed onto him, like a drowning man grabbing onto a life raft. Her knees buckled, and she started to fall until Rick caught her and held her tightly. She wanted to burrow deeper into his arms and disappear into the comfort of his embrace.

“I’m here, baby. You’re not dreaming. I found you.”

Carl walked into the kitchen with Michael, and the four Grimes were in the same room for the first time.

When he felt Lori in his arms again, something he would have given his left for years ago, he unleashed a half decade’s worth of tears as he hugged her tightly. The somewhat spouses held onto each other, not believing they were reunited. Rick grimaced when could feel the scars through the thin fabric of her shirt. He recalled what Carl said moments ago…he knew.

Michonne watched from the edge of the kitchen, one hand holding Andre’s hand and Julia in her other arm. Her eyes were misty when she knew Rick was happy again, truly happy, and finally got what he wanted for as long as she knew him. She had to bite her lip when she realized that he was happy because he was in the arms of another woman.

xxxxx

Carl was in the adjoining room with Andre, Julia and his sisters. Rick was sitting on a loveseat with Michonne, while Lori, who was obviously anxious, sat on the couch just ten feet away. She kept turning her head, nervously looking at the closed French doors that separated the room they were in from the rest of the house.

Half an hour earlier, when Rick introduced Lori to his wife Michonne, the brunette’s heart sank. They shook hands, both clearly uncomfortable. They both loved and were loved by Rick…his past and his present.

xxxxx

“You’ve got your hands full,” Rick said, smiling as he watched the children playing together. “Are you one of the day care homes?”

Lori’s hands were shaking as she took a sip of water from her glass, and Rick could see the panic in her eyes when she almost dropped it before returning the glass to the coffee table.

“No. They’re all mine. Ours….mine.” She stuttered, her nerves on edge.

Michonne nudged Rick and motioned for him to sit on the couch with his first wife, and he didn’t hesitate to accept. He sat by Lori, who immediately flinched in fear before she physically crumbled.

“I’m sorry….I’m sorry” She kept repeating, almost as if it were a mantra. “I’m sorry.”

Rick felt his shirt become moist as her tears spilled out of her eyes and onto his shoulder.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Rick whispered in her ear. “You didn’t do anything.”

“I’m sorry.” She repeated, on the verge of a panic attack.

“Lori, what’s he done? You’re full of bruises.”

As if on cue, Rick heard the upstairs floorboard creak.

Lori snapped to attention. “Oh God. He’s awake. You have to leave. He doesn’t like company. He’ll be angry.” Her breathing became erratic and she started pulling on her own hair.

“Who?” Michonne asked, and leaned forward in her seat.

“Shane. You guys can’t be here. He doesn’t like company. Please. I can’t have friends over. You gotta go. He’ll be angry.”

“Baby, you’re safe now. He’ll never hurt you again. I promise that.” Rick said, squeezing her hand.

Lori turned her head and locked her eyes on the glass doors, her body trembling as she waited for the time bomb to explode.

Michonne looked at Rick and got his unsaid message. She nodded, then stood up and walked over to the other woman in Rick’s life and took her hand.

“Let’s go. You and me. You’re safe.” Michonne pulled Lori to stand and wrapped her arm around the first Missus Grimes before the two walked to the front door.

Rick was right behind them, watching as Lori started chewing her fingernails in anticipation of what may happen.

“The fuck you goin?” A loud voice roared, as Shane thundered down the stairs. “The fuck are you?” He asked, looking at Michonne with venom in his eyes. “Ain’t no jiggaboos in my house. Get the fuck out, black bitch.”

Michonne noticed that Lori stepped behind her, instinctively looking for protection. Her hand was on the woman’s shoulder, squeezing it tightly.

Rick cleared his throat, getting Shane’s attention.

Shane stood still for a moment, just staring at the ghost from his past.   He eventually offered a smug smile and said, “Well shit. Look at you.” Shane said. “Holy shit. You’re alive. Goddamn. Good to see you, brother.”

Without breaking eye contact with his former friend, Rick said to Lori and Michonne, “Ladies, take the kids and go to Daryl and Beth’s. Shane and I need to talk.”

The two men were in a standoff, barely blinking when Carl helped his mother and step-mother put shoes on the children, grabbed light jackets from the closet and left the house.

When the door shut, Rick stared down his former friend and partner.

“Good to see you, bro.”

“I’m not your bro. How’d Lori get hurt?”

“Five years. Long time.” Shane descended the final two steps and stood on the floor.

“How’d Lori get hurt?”

“You been out there the whole time?”

“How’d Lori get hurt?”

“We been here ‘bout four years. She pops out kids on the regular.”

“How’d Lori get hurt?” Rick seethed, just staring at the man he knew since childhood. He stepped closer to the man.

“Who’s Aunt Jemima?”

“How’d Lori get hurt?”

They were standing nose to nose. Shane broke the gaze and looked at the door, and sneered as he said “Never thought you’d have jungle fever. I gotta keep my bitches in line.”

He didn’t see the fist coming close to him, but Rick’s hand connected with the spot under Shane’s lower jaw. The uppercut knocked him backward, throwing him off balance and knocking him to the floor. The loud thump when his head hit the hardwood resonated throughout the room.

Rick descended on him. Shane was semi-conscious and couldn’t fight back. Rick punched and kicked the man until he had to stop from exhaustion. He placed the pads of his fingers under Shane’s ear and felt a pulse, then stood and walked to the kitchen. After washing Shane’s blood off his hands the sheriff walked around the house Lori shares with the man and noticed a large flat-screen television in the corner. He ripped the cords off the now useless tube and used it to tie Shane’s hands behind his back, forcing him to sit with his back against a white column.

Shane was still unconscious when Rick left the house and walked to the Dixons, eager to get back to his families.

 

 


	6. Family Again

In the pitch blackness of the late night Rick found his way back to the Dixon home.  Daryl welcomed him in, and Carl ran into his arms again.  He embraced his son as his eyes scanned the room.  Beth was sitting in the easy chair, breastfeeding both Catherine and Annette at the same time.

“Baby was hungry.”  Daryl mumbled.

Rick nodded in thanks before he heard his boy's voice.

“Dad, I need to talk to you.”  Carl pleaded.

“Absolutely.  There’s privacy upstairs.” He began to ask Daryl if he could watch the kids, but the archer replied yes without needing to be another word.

Rick led the way to the guest bedroom which he and Michonne were given.  He closely watched his son, desperately hoping Shane didn’t do the unthinkable to him.

They both sat on the edge of the perfectly made bed, turning to face each other. 

“What’s up, bud?”

“Can we move in here with you?  I don’t want to be around Shane.  I don’t want mom to be around him.  Or Mikey or the girls.”

“Carl, there’s no question about that.  I lost five years of you growing up.  I don’t want to miss another day.”

“Cool.”  Carl smiled, but his sad eyes told a different story of the tidal wave of emotions he had inside of him.

Rich inhaled sharply, and steadied himself to ask the question he dreaded.

“Carl.  Did Shane ever touch you?  You were so young the last time I saw you.  We never had the talk I was supposed to give you.”  He rubbed his face, and asked again, his stomach in a knot.  “Did he ever touch you?  You can tell me.”

After a brief moment of hesitation he replied, “well, not like that, but he gets mad real easy.  He yells a lot.  He’s mad at mom all the time.  He hurts her.”

Rick looked at the floor and softly told his son “I could feel your scars.  On your back.”

Carl slowly nodded.

“What about your brother and sisters?”

“He hates Mikey.  Hates ‘em.  ‘Cuz he’s not his.  Mom was pregnant when we left.  Mikey’s yours.  The girls…he likes to give them baths and one time he was taking too long and the door was locked.  Mom could heard them crying but he wouldn’t open the door.  She kicked it open and he punched her really hard.  She was asleep for two days.”

He looked at his father, his eyes screaming to say more.  Rick knew his son was holding something back.  A nauseating feeling of dread started to rise in his gut.

“Go ahead, buddy.”

He started picking at his fingernails, a nervous tick he never had before.  “After we got here, like a week or something like that, Mikey was born.  Mom was sleeping in her bed, and I went to talk to Shane.  He was sitting on the couch cleaning a shotgun, and looked mad when I started talking to him.  He wanted to know what I wanted, and I kinda knew about babies and stuff, but I didn’t know how to ask.  He asked me if I knew what sex was and I said no.  Then he took me upstairs.  He had a hunting knife.  He woke Mom up and made me watch.  She was crying and said no, that she hurt, but he slapped her and made me watch.  He told her that he’d gut me if I tried to stop and he told me he’d slit her throat.   He held her down with his hand on her throat, and made me watch.  When he was done he got off her and got dressed then left the room.”

The teenager bit his lip, something else he never did before.

Rick leaned forward and took his son in his arms, trying to be strong as his boy sobbed on his shoulder.  When his hand moved around Carl’s back, in an attempt to comfort him, he felt the same welts he did when he hugged Lori.

His tears formed quickly.  His last memory of his son was when he was sitting at the table the morning of the shooting.  It was an image Rick had engraved in his memory, never wanting to forget.  Carl was wearing his grey rocket dog tee shirt and eating a bowl of Captain Crunch cereal with a glass of chocolate milk.  The epitome of innocence.  Now he was living in a dead world, watched his mother get raped and beaten, and was physically abused himself.

After losing five years of watching his son grow up, he was sitting here with his boy in his arms once again, but loathed to think of what he saw and experienced.  Carl’s body started shaking with gut wrenching sobs and his grip on Rick’s body got tighter. 

Rick thought about Michael.  Mikey.  His son.  When he was in his coma he could hear and feel everything, but he couldn’t move.  He remembered Lori begging him to wake up, saying she has a surprise for him.  Shane took it all away.

“I’m sorry, buddy.  I’m back now.  I promise you, he’ll never hurt you again.  I promise.”

Eventually, when Carl broke the hug and leaned back, Rick reached to the nightstand and grabbed a tissue, handing it to his boy.  Without being asked, Carl stood up and lifted his shirt.  Rick held in a gasp when he saw the crisscrossed scars that covered his back.

“He said you were dead.  Mom wanted to go back and get you, but he said you were dead.  Can we please stay here?”

The unshed tears that were gathered in Rick’s eyes spilled out when he consoled his son again, repeating his promise that Shane will never hurt anyone anymore.  “Absolutely.”   Rick responded.  “We’re a family again.”

xxxxx

The father and son went into the attached bathroom to splash water on their faces before heading back downstairs.  Michonne and Lori were sitting on the couch, the latter holding baby Catherine.  When he saw the red and puffy eyes looking at him, Rick could tell each woman had been crying heavily.

“Rick,” Michonne started.  “I spoke to Beth and Daryl.  Lori and the kids are moving in with us.  You’ve been apart for too long.  Lori and I want to raise our kids together.  Now I know why you grieved so hard, I’ve known her for about an hour and she’s my sister.”  Michonne said, casting a warm glance at Lori, who reached over and squeezed her hand.

Beth was putting a late dinner on the table, ready for whomever wants to dive in for fresh chicken, stir-fried with green peppers.  One by one, the children made it to the table.  Michonne reached over and took her daughter from Lori’s arms, allowing her to stand and once again let Rick envelope her in his arms.

“I missed you so much.  You have no idea.”  Rick whispered, his tears waiting to start again.

“I missed you more.  So much.  There’s so much I want to tell you.”

“Me too.  After dinner we’ll talk.  Just you and me.”

The new, extended family; Daryl, Beth, Rick, Michonne, Lori, Michael, Andre and Carl, joined by newborns Annette and Catherine and toddlers Katie, Kelly, Julia and Shannon.  Rick watched Michael closely.  He had the same mannerisms Carl did at that age.

Rick noticed Lori gave portions to her children but took just a few spoonfuls for herself.

“You should eat more.  You still love chicken stir fry?”  Rick asked.

“This is good.  I don’t wanna get fat.”  She responded, trying to smile.

He was about to tell her that she’s already too thin, but didn’t want to embarrass her.  He knew.  Rick took that time to properly introduce Lori to Daryl and Beth, telling her about meeting the archer and Michonne at the quarry, and how Glenn was shot in the shoulder in a hunting accident after the CDC exploded and that’s how they met Beth and her family.

“So, who is everyone?”  Beth asked, in her perky voice.  “This is Annette, she’s about two months old.  Lori and Carl, I remember you both from a picture Rick had.  I’m glad you guys are back together.”

Michonne smiled, then started.  “Well, you remember Andre, he’s seven, that’s Julia Lori, she’s two and Catherine Ellen is about a month.”

Lori did a double take, and asked “you named your daughter’s middle name ‘Lori?’  That’s…that’s sweet.”  She said, biting her lip. 

“That was Michonne’s idea, baby.  Julia after her mother and Lori after you.  That was all Michonne.”

The two women, who were sitting only two chairs away from each other, simultaneously reached over and held hands.

“Thank you.”  Lori whispered.

“You’re welcome, hon.  What about you?”

“This is Carl, he’s my teenager, Michael is four, Kelly and Katie are three and Shannon is two.”

Rick wanted to scream.  Just as he did with Andre, he would accept Lori’s daughters as his own.  He didn’t care who Andre’s father was, because Michonne was his mother.  He felt the same way about Lori’s daughters.  He kept a keen eye on Michael.  Mikey.  He has a lot more to protect.

xxxxx

Dinner was over, and Michonne and Lori helped with the children as Beth cleaned up the dishes.  Rick and Daryl walked over, both with armed with guns, to the Walsh house.  Rick opened the door and Daryl walk in first, pointing his gun around, just in case.

Shane was still sitting on the floor, his hands bound behind his back, the white column between the man and his hands.

“Fuck you, Rick.”  Shane seethed and the two walked in.

Without a word, Rick went behind the column and used his handcuffs to secure his former friend’s hands and made sure the wire was still tied tightly.  Rick stood and move his foot back, kicking Shane as hard as he could in the groin.

Daryl walked upstairs with a list Lori wrote out and began to gather clothing for the kids.  She asked that he get a dark blue backpack that was hidden behind a pile pf clothes.

Shane yelped in agony.  Rick got to his knees and grabbed Shane by the jaw, lifting his face so the two were eye to eye.

“You beat my son.  You beat my wife.  And I saw my medical chart.  I know now.  And I’m telling Deanna tomorrow.  I’ll cut your hamstrings so you can’t run and throw you over the fence.  I’ll sit back and laugh when I hear your screams.  Did you molest those girls?  They’re my daughters now.  My family.  I still have my chart…your world is gonna end.”

Shane started laughing.  What started as a soft chuckle turned into maniacal laughter.

“Rick, Rick, Rick…you have no fucking idea what I can do to you.  You have no fucking idea what this place is.  You’ve been here just a few hours.  You don’t have a fucking clue.”

xxxxx

The Dixon house soon became the Dixon-Grimes house.  After Rick and Daryl came back with clothes for the kids, including a suitcase filled with clothes Lori packed when she was in her home, Daryl and Beth took their daughter to the master bedroom to give the new family privacy.

All three Grimes helped get the children ready for bed, and of the five bedroom house Carl was sharing a room with Andre and Michael, and the fourth bedroom, with a queen sized bed, was Lori’s.  She knew her sons were safe, so she chose to share one room and the bed for herself and her daughters.  She needed to be close to them. 

The toddler beds in the former Walsh home were planned to be brought over the next day.

Rick was pacing around the living room, nervous about the conversation with Lori.  Michonne chose to stay upstairs, giving them the privacy they needed.  He looked around the room, and spotted a knapsack he hadn’t seen for years.

Curiosity got the best of him, and before anyone joined him he sat on the sofa and slowly opened the zipper.  Inside were three photo albums and red purse sized pouch.  He removed the albums, and smiled when he saw pictures of the three…Lori, Carl and himself, smiling during a much happier time. 

Lori stood in the threshold of the room, watching as the only man she ever wanted poured through the memories she fiercely protected from Shane.

He opened the pouch, and she saw his posture relax when he reached inside and took out the earrings he gave her on their wedding day.  He placed them on the coffee table and when she heard him sniffle she walked in, just as he removed the necklace he gave her the day Carl was born.  On the necklace, hanging like a charm, were her engagement ring and their matching wedding bands.

“Hey you.”  She whispered, as she walked closer to the couch.  Like a moth to a flame, he jumped up and reached for her.  He could feel her wince as his hands lightly touched her back, so he gently took her by the hand and led her back to where he was sitting.

Time seemed to stop as the two looked into each other’s eyes.  All the grief and yearning over the past years was over.  They were together again.  His gaze traced down her neck, and the once flawless ivory skin was marked with scars and welts. 

“I missed you.  I thought you were dead.  I watched as they dropped the napalm.  He was so angry.  I wanted to stay, but he took us away.”

“I missed you too.  So much.  You and Carl…God, baby.  Musta been a hundred times I tried to kill myself.”

She hadn’t expected him to say that.  She looked at him, wide eyed, and nervously started playing with her hair. 

“That morning.  I was so angry.  I was so emotional, but then when you were in the coma I wanted to take it all back.  The bad times, the fights, I was lost.”

Rick held her hand tightly and told her about being able to hear her when he was in the hospital.  “I remember you said you have a secret…I know now.  As soon as I saw Mikey, I knew.”

xxxxx

They talked throughout the night.  Rick told her about how Michonne stopped him from committing suicide and was his shoulder to cry on.  Andre, who was just a toddler when they met, looked at him as a father figure, and he needed to hear someone call him “dad.”  It was about two years from the time he woke up in the hospital until he and Michonne consummated their relationship.  When Julia was born, Michonne was the one to insist “Lori” would be the middle name.

Lori confessed that the first night, as the napalm dropped, she turned to Shane for comfort, and he was aggressive, but she didn’t say no.  She regretted it immediately.  She told him about Shane’s plan to go to Fort Benning, but when he saw it was overrun he took his frustration out on her.  That was the first time he broke her nose.  One of the soldiers ran to their car and asked for help, saying he knew of a cure in Washington, DC.  Shane shot the man in the stomach and sped away, onto DC.

After hours of talking, crying and hugging each other, Lori smiled as she finally placed her jewelry back on, something Shane would have never allowed.  She took her rings off her necklace and replaced her rings on her left hand.  There was a moment of awkward silence when Lori was holding Rick’s silver wedding band in the palm of her hand.

Rick had a large, gold band on his ring finger, something he gathered from an abandoned shopping mall.  The matching rings were resting on Michonne’s finger.  The love he had with Lori was still strong.  They were still married, and still loved each other dearly.  Rick knew what he wanted to do…he took the ring from her hand and placed it on the ring finger on his right hand.

They held hands, and Rick whispered, “I still love you.”

Immediately, Lori smiled and replied, “I love you too.  I never stopped.”

He silently brushed her hair over her shoulder, exposing the bruised skin on her neck and back.  He met her gaze, his eyes gleaming.  She gasped as the oxygen was sucked out of her lungs, and was unable to breathe.  Her heart fluttered when he took her right hand and encompassed it in both of his, gently entwining their fingers. 

He leaned forward suddenly and pressed his mouth to hers.  It was just as though no time had passed.  They kissed the way they did the night before the shooting, when they made love for almost an hour.  She shaped and molded his lips with her own, the memories of being with him rushing back.  She moaned softly into his mouth when he moved his hand to the back of her head at the same instant he sunk his tongue between her lips, claiming her as his again. 

She kissed him back, starved for his taste, silently begging him to take possession of her, to forget about the past five years and let her feel this moment.

xxxxx

They were sitting in the dimly lit room, rekindling their love.  One lamp lit the entire room, and the window blinds were open just enough.

Shane balled his hands into fists as he stood outside the window, watching as the woman he refers to as his wife and the man he tried to kill were back together.

  
  


 


	7. This Is How We Live

**Note:  I wanted to acknowledge the part of the comic in which Carol wanted to be part of Rick and Lori's marriage.  This is based on that storyline.**

Michonne woke up, alone, and looked to her side. Julia was curled up next to her, sucking on her thumb and her curly hair splayed out on the pillow. She swung her legs over to the edge of the mattress and collected herself before washing up in the bathroom, slipping on a robe Beth provided, and quietly walked downstairs.

The room was a little chilly, but the sun was starting to flood the room with a warm glow. She looked across the room and saw Rick, awake on the couch but Lori was asleep with her head on his right shoulder and her left arm draped over his torso. The two had the plush couch reclined and were sharing a small blanket.

Rick made contact with Michonne, and put his finger up to his lips, making a “shh” motion. He gently got out from under Lori’s arm, and grabbed a pillow as he placed her head on the couch. After answering nature’s call he came back out to the kitchen and greeted Michonne with a kiss.

“Morning, baby.” He said softly.

“Morning to you. I don’t think I’ve seen you this happy. Ever.”

His smile tightened, then he made contact with Michonne and said, “I need to talk to you.”

Lori was still asleep, so they went into the hallway. Rick’s gut clenched when he thought of how he was going to tell Michonne about the previous night.

“Rick, what’s wrong?” Michonne asked, her voice full of concern.

As he started to pace, he rubbed his hand through his hair and told his current wife that he and Lori talked for hours about what happened, how Shane was abusive, and reminisced about the past. He said how happy Lori was to put her jewelry back on, and he showed his black queen his silver wedding band on his right hand.

“Why’d you put it there?” She asked.

Rick stuttered and stammered, trying to find the words. He said that it was late, and the emotions of being back with his family got to him. He didn’t want to disrespect his vows to her, but he still wanted to honor what he had with Lori. It was a symbolic gesture, since she put her rings back on.

Unphased, Michonne just looked at him. “Okay. That’s sounds reasonable to me. So, what’s up?”

Taking a deep breath, Rick looked at Michonne and said, “Lori and I kissed. But it was more than a kiss. We didn’t do anything, I promise you that, but being together again…Shane stole five years from me. Michael is my son. That’s why Lori was so emotional that morning. She was pregnant. ‘Chonne, we didn’t do anything. We kissed, but that was it.”

Michonne nodded, than asked, “Rick, I saw you when you were at your worst. Andre’s dad and I were never married, but even though we split before everything happened it still hurt to think about what happened to him. I can’t imagine the pain of losing a child. We think it was five years we were gone? If the world never went to shit, how long would you and Lori be married?”

Picking up the nervous habit of chewing on the edge of his finger nails, Rick answered “eighteen years.”

“And you’ve been together for more than twenty?”

Rick responded with a nod.

“Look, I don’t see a problem.” She smiled and sang a line from a long forgotten movie, “A kiss is just a kiss.”

She notice that he still looked nervous, so she repeated herself, “Rick, what happened?”

“I never cheated on Lori. Ever. She’s my first love. We’ve known each other since high school. I feel like I cheated on you, and I’m sorry. I love you, ‘Chonne.”

“But you still love her too?”

Rick looked sullen and nodded yes.

She folded her arms across her chest and bluntly said, “Alright, listen. The world has gone to shit. Nobody knows if they’ll see another day. If we were married in the real world and you got caught with a five dollar hooker, I’d be pissed. But I know you’re not like that anyway. I remember how much you cried for her. I stopped you from killing yourself. I remember lying in that prison bunk, pretending to be asleep, and hearing you sob when you looked at that picture. I know you love her, and I know you love me. I told you yesterday that I want us to raise our families together. You took on Andre as your son, and I’ll never be able to tell you how much that means. You’re taking on her girls. You’re a man of honor. I don’t see a problem.   A kiss is a kiss. Hell, I’ll take the kids out for a walk if you two really want to hit it.”

Rick was stunned…looking at his wife with his jaw open.

She chuckled and continued. “Look, I met Shane for just seconds yesterday. But even I think he’s an asshole. I can’t imagine what she had to go through. The world is different now. What was normal before isn’t normal now. You, me and Lori can live together. I want us to be a family. She can’t go back to Shane. When I was in the District Attorney’s office I prosecuted guys who beat the shit outta their wives. The women would almost always go back. Then I’d be prosecuting the same guys for murder. You probably remember that as a cop, right?”

He flinched when he thought of what Shane was now like, and replied, “yeah.”

“Lori showed me her back yesterday…she needs a good man to help raise those kids. I don’t feel betrayed, because I know you love me. We can live together. I want to get to know her better, because I know how much you loved her.”

Rick chuckled and added “like a harem or something?”

Michonne looked at him with complete sincerity and relied “yes. And when Lori wakes up I want to talk to her about it. We’re the Grimes family.”

xxxxx

As Rick and Michonne were discussing their new, non-traditional marriage, they heard some of the children start coming downstairs. Carl led the way with his brothers, Andre and Michael, and had Catherine in his arms and Julia by the hand.

Beth brought down Kelly, Katie and Annette, and Daryl helped Shannon walk down the steps.

During a breakfast of warm oatmeal and orange juice, the initial awkwardness of the first meeting of the two Missus Grimes was gone. They talked and laughed as if they knew each other since childhood.

xxxxx

 

Lori’s daughters were sitting quietly on the sofa, a trait they had learned to do…be as quiet as possible. Michonne asked the Dixons to watch the children, since the three needed to talk.

Lori was wiping tears from her eyes, overwhelmed by how kind and loving Michonne was being. The black beauty took Lori’s left hand and told her how beautiful her rings were, and showed her the bands Rick got her.

“Rick told me about him putting his ring with you on is right finger. I don’t accept that. You two are still married, almost eighteen years. Not many people can make it to that point. I’ve said it before…Lori, he cried so much for you, and I know you have a long history. Here.” She said, reaching for Rick’s right hand and took the silver band off his ring finger. She handed it to Lori and said, “I believe you know what to do.”

Rick and Lori looked at Michonne in shock as she nodded, pushing Lori forward to do what she wanted. The brunette’s hands were trembling when she took Rick’s left hand and slid the silver ring on, the only previous time being their wedding day. His ring from his union with Lori now joined his ring with his union with Michonne.

Light brown eyes connected with baby blues, and they heard Michonne say, “Rick, kiss your bride.”

Rick didn’t know how to act or what to do, but after Michonne repeated herself, he gingerly took Lori in his arms and lightly pressed his lips to hers. The bolt of lightning that hit him when the two first kissed in the hallway of Madison Brook High School hit him again.

He broke the kiss, but still had Lori in his arms. Her emotions took over and she buried her face in his chest and started crying again.

“If the world was still alive…if we were living back then…we’d be killing each other.” Rick said softly.

“Well, we’re here now. We’re together now. Twenty years together. I can’t ask you to ignore what you had. I won’t ask you to do that. When I said we’ll raise our kids together and be a family, I mean it.”

Michonne looked at both Grimes with a smile, then extended her arms and took Lori in her arms. “We can make this work.”

xxxxx

When the three left the room and gathered back to their blended family, Rick said his good mornings to everyone, then focused on Michael. He could feel the anger burn in his chest when he thought about what happened, and that was when he thought about Shane. It was well over twelve hours since he left his former friend tethered to the post inside the home.

While part of him chuckled to himself, he knew it wasn’t humane to keep someone chained up like that. Even Shane. He was about to excuse himself to go to the former Walsh home when there was a sharp knock on the door. When Daryl went to see who was there, Deanna and Shane stormed into the house.

Deanna was livid. She demanded to speak to Rick immediately, and snapped that what she wants to say will not be appropriate for the children.

As soon as Katie and Kelly saw their father they started crying. Mikey wet his pants and ran to Carl, and Shannon started screaming for her mother.

Lori cowered behind Michonne when the two women joined Rick, Shane and Deanna on the porch.

“Rick. You’ve been here one day. I thought you were a man of honor. Shane told me you took his wife and fornicated on the couch just last night. Lisa, I expected more from you. You’re a mother. You sleep with a man you just met? What kind of morals are you setting for your children? You all have young babies, but maybe I should rethink you joining us.”

He took a deep sigh, and said, “Deanna, please sit.”

xxxxx

Deanna flipped through the pages of Rick and Lori’s wedding album, looking at the happy smiles years from ago. Lori showed her pictures of Rick and Shane as kids, wearing little league uniforms and big smiles, the two men on their college graduation, in uniform while on the job, in tuxedos on Rick and Lori’s wedding day, and Shane proudly holding his de facto nephew, Carl.

Rick had his Colt Python in his hand, and a steely eye on Shane, who was sitting in a chair about ten feet away.

The petite woman cleared her throat and apologized to both Rick and Lori, as she tried to digest the entire story.

“Shane, you lied to me. You told me you never met Rick before. I trusted you.” She never looked up from flipping through the pages of the Grimes’ memories.

The hot tempered cop was quiet, looking at his feet, and although the morning was chilly, he broke out in cold sweats.

“Deanna, I’d like to show you something. There were two things I kept before I left Kings County. One was a picture of me, Lori and Carl. I cried over that picture every day. It was destroyed when a madman attacked the prison where we were staying. I went for months with nothing of Lori or Carl. All I had was a picture, and that was taken from me. Just like my family was.” He stared at Shane, who had his head down and was sitting quietly.

“There’s something else you need to see. I woke up in an empty hospital room. There were bullet holes in the wall and dead bodies all over the place. I thought it was a dream…that I was somehow still in my coma. I didn’t know who I was. There was a metal clipboard hanging over the foot of my hospital bed.   I picked it up and flipped through the pages.” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out an old, dirty and torn stack of papers.

“This was my medical chart.”

Shane snapped to attention and stood up, his nose flaring and his hands balled into fists. Rick drew his gun and pointed it at his old friend.

“See, I was shot. I thought it was from the thug we were chasing. Look on page four. The bullet entered my back from the left. Not from the front, but from the back. There was only one person who was standing there. Isn’t that right, Shane? Were you aiming for the back of my head and missed?”

Lori, who was weepy through the meeting, covered her mouth and started sobbing. Michonne folded her sister into her arms and held her tightly. Rick glanced at Michonne, who was trying to register the words he had just spoken.

“Funny thing about coma patients. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t talk. But I could hear and feel everything. I could hear Lori begging for me to wake up. She said she had a surprise for me. That surprise is my son, Michael. Then one night I heard screaming and gunshots. My buddy…my partner…my childhood friend, said a simple ‘see ya’ and left.” Rick turned his attention to Shane, stepping closer to the former lawman.

“You had it pretty good. You tried to act like the family man but beat the shit outta my wife. You’re fucking around with Jessie. Pete’s a good guy. You raped my wife, abused my kids and molested my daughters. And you’re walking around like you’re the good guy, but you tried to kill me.”

With his finger on the trigger, Rick raised his Colt and had it pointed at Shane’s head.

 

 


	8. Shane

He was never so angry.  This was not the way it was supposed to be.  He was in charge.  He was the one to drive from Fort Benning to Alexandria.  When he arrived there weren’t many residents, and he knew he was stuck with the woman he once admired and the child he called his nephew, who turned out to be nothing but a pain in the ass.

He turned on the charm for Deanna, promising her that he’ll keep everyone safe.  The story was simple.   He and Lori were married with a kid.  He was a good family man.  Deanna looked up to him, and he was in charge of security. 

The day the three arrived to the place Lori introduced herself to their neighbors, the Anderson family, as Lori “Grimes,” not Walsh.  When the four adults were standing around he put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed, a silent sign of telling her how much she screwed up. 

He remembered…”we’re newlyweds, and she can’t give up that maiden name.  Isn’t that right, honey?”  His voice was filled with malice, and the grip on her shoulder for tighter. 

When the door closed to their new house, a home he never could have afforded if the world was still alive, she had the nerve to walk ahead of him.  He grabbed her hair and yanked her backwards.  One punch to her face was all it took.  When Carl tried to defend his mother Shane removed his gun from his waistband and put it in the boy’s mouth, bring both mother and son to tears. 

“This is my world now.  You do what I say.  Don’t you ever embarrass me again.  Understand?”

Lori said yes, and pleaded for her son’s safety.  He removed the gun but grabbed Carl by the shirt and pulled him closer, so they were nose to nose.

“I’m the boss here.  I’m in charge.  You don’t sneeze with asking me first.  I’ll make you watch as I gut your mother.  You know what evisceration is?  I stick my knife in her gut and move it up.  She’ll die in front of you.  I’ll make you lick up her blood.  We clear?”

He smiled when he remembered the fear in the brat’s eyes.  From that point on, he was not just king of the castle, but ruled the neighborhood.  Just like it was in high school, he made a name for himself.  The idiotic morality rule Deanna had in place prevented the women from telling their husbands.  But Jessie was different.  Pete knew, and didn’t care.  Maybe he was just as sick of her as he was. 

The day the younger Grimes came into the world he acted like he was sick with the flu.  It gave him a reason to not be present at the birth, and also an hours long visit from Jessie.  It was Rick’s kid.  He knew.  He didn’t want it.  He remembered going out on calls with paramedics to a report of a shaken baby.  Rick was always the emotional, blubbering fool when it came to kids.  He’d have tears in his eyes when writing up the report about the incident, and would mention the kid’s days later when he would read the obituary. 

The mild jealousy he had of Rick when he started dating Lori grew stronger over the years.  She looked breathtaking on their wedding day, and Rick, emotional again, had to wipe the tears from his eyes.  He’d go over to their house often, watching how comfortable they were with each other.  They hosted a Superbowl party, and not only did she look amazing in Tom Brady’s jersey, but she was the perfect hostess, smiling at their friends and refilling beers.  Just like he wanted a wife to be.  Submissive.

He pretended to be the caring friend when Rick would tell him of their problems, from trivial shit like her Godawful pancakes to her mood swings during her pregnancy, and later he saw the shine in Rick’s eyes diminish as the marriage became stale.  He had plans to fill Rick’s head with the joy of being a single man…a different pair of boobs every night, no nagging, and living life doing what he wanted.

Months went by, and his plan was failing.  As stale as the marriage was, it was comfortable.  He’d witness the two sitting closely on the couch, Rick’s arm around her and her hand on his knee.  He wanted to break it apart and claim Lori as his own.  Nothing breaks up a union faster than suspicion, and he had the black, lacy thong in his jacket pocket, ready to plant it in Rick’s spare clothes he wore to the department’s gym.  He knew Lori would see it while doing laundry, and he’d sit back and watch the show.

They were talking over lunch when the call came in, and after the thugs flipped the car it was his chance.  Bassett and Everett were firing, and Shane aimed his gun at the back of Rick’s head.  It would be recorded as an accident.  Friendly fire.  Lori would get Rick’s pension, life insurance, and sympathy from the small town.  He’d move in and take over. 

But at the last second, Rick moved.  What should have blown his head off was a bullet to his side.

xxxxx

Lori insisted on naming the second brat Michael Richard Grimes.  The inverse of Richard Michael Grimes.  He had no say in the matter, and frankly, he didn’t care.

With three “Grimes” in the house, he was losing his standing as the one they answer to.  The day came when he was on the sofa, cleaning his shotgun.  He was constantly thinking of ways to dispose of all three.  Nothing worked.

_Brat number one came up to him, bugging him yet again._

_“Shane, my mom was pregnant before my father died.”_

_“I’m your father now, boy.”_

_He looked at the child who was stunned and hurt by his words._

_“What do you want, kid?  I’m busy.”_

_“Just that my mom…like with the baby…”_

_“You askin’ about sex?”_

_When Carl didn’t respond immediately, as he knew he should have, Shane became angry._

_“I asked you a question, boy.  Are you askin’ about sex?”_

_Carl didn’t say a word, he simply nodded his head._

_“Alright.”  Shane placed the weapon on the coffee table and grabbed Carl by the arm.  On the way to the stairs he grabbed his hunting knife and proceeded to drag the child up the flight of steps._

_Lori was asleep in bed, having given birth to brat number two just weeks earlier.  He ripped open the door and flipped on the light, waking both of them._

_Before she could ask what was going on, he walked over to her side of the bed, made Carl stand in place, and climbed onto the mattress.  In one move he reached under her nightshirt and ripped off her panties._

_Brat number two began screaming in his crib, and brat number one was telling him to stop.  He used his hunting knife to cut Lori’s shirt in half, exposing her breasts in front of her child._

_The begging for him to stop only made him harder.  He held Lori down by the throat and slammed into her, causing her to scream in pain.  He let out a guttural groan as she began crying.  His thrusts became more forceful as Carl begged him to stop.  That was when he showed them both the knife and told them both to be quiet.  He told Carl he’d kill his mother if he looks away._

_Between glances of Lori’s bouncing breasts, which were leaking breastmilk over her and the sheets, and looks at Carl to make sure he was still watching, the speed and strength of his exertion increased.  He moved his hand from her neck to her breast, squeezing it hard.  He let out a string of almost feral grunts and exhaled when he felt himself cum. He slapped Lori across the face as he pulled out, then got off the bed and put his clothes back on, exposing himself to Carl in the process._

_“You wanted to know what sex was.  That’s it.  It’s better when they scream.”_

_He left the room, with all three screaming, and left the house to go for a walk.  Within weeks Lori was pregnant again, and he was now in charge of two more brats.  Girls this time.  He took his time changing the diapers, and one year later when another brat arrived, he knew he had to let everyone know who was in charge.  
_

xxxxx

Everything was going just as planned.  He’d get it whenever he wanted from Lori, had Jessie and a few others on the side, and was able to pretend to be the loving father of daughters…giving them baths, potty training, and helped them get dressed.

He had complete control.

Until that day.  Rick came back from the dead.  And ruined everything.  He destroyed everything within one day.  That evening Jessie came over and freed him, and had no choice but to go with him when he went to the dirty redneck’s house.  It was a moonless night, which gave him the perfect cover for looking through the partially opened blinds.

He saw them together.  Rick and Lori, once again.  They were kissing, a small brush of his lips against hers, and then they became more passionate.  He watched as they whispered something to each other, then Rick guided Lori to her back.  He got on top of her and they made out like they did in high school. 

As Rick started to undo his zipper she said something to him, and he stopped.  They kissed some more before he walked away from the live sex show.  He planned on telling Deanna everything. He took out his frustration on Jessie, fucking her hard against a tree next to her house

It seemed to work, the senator didn’t know Lori that well and called her Lisa, and the plan was in place for Rick to leave, and take the jungle monkey with him. 

Fucking Rick.  He had the medical chart.  And Lori had their wedding album.  With a gun against his head he was forced to leave, and threated with death if he ever returned.

xxxxx

He spent months on the road.  It had snowed, and the only way he could get water was to put a handful of the cold, white shit in his mouth.  There was no food, no shelter.

He thought he was hallucinating when he heard the sound of motorcycles in the distance.  The noise got louder, and he was soon swarmed by greasy dick eaters who wanted half his shit.

Two of the men stepped aside and talked to each other, before inviting him back to their sanctuary.


	9. Closer To You

Days after the community lost their devil in disguise, one of the elderly residents, Edna Niedermeyer, passed away in her sleep. She turned, and since she lived alone she was stuck in her house for days until Aaron went to check on her. Father Gabriel officiated a small ceremony in the chapel before the community had a funeral and buried their friend. She was the first member of the neighborhood to pass away, and Deanna dedicated an area outside the gate for a cemetery.

Daryl and Beth offered to move into the now-vacant house, giving their guests more privacy, but Rick turned down the offer, saying that the couple claimed the house as their own before the large family arrived. The late fall weather allowed the windows and door to be left open for a few days to try to remove the stench of decay.

Eventually, the Grimes family moved in. In the five bedroom house, rooms were shared with family, which was determined not by blood but by bond. Carl, Andre, and Michael took one, Shannon and Julia another, and twins Kelly and Kelly shared their room with Catherine, who looked more like Rick every day.

Rick took the master bedroom, and Lori and Michonne shared a room with two twin beds. In the week since the sheriff and the samurai arrived at Alexandria, there was no sexual contact between anyone. Michonne felt like an outsider when she saw how easily Rick and Lori reconnected, and the brunette grimaced when she thought about her husband being with another woman.

xxxxx

It was evening when Carl was watching his siblings and Rick was meeting with Deanna discussing how to make the area more secure. Michonne went with Lori when the brunette returned to her former house. She became emotional, thinking of all the times she received beating for no reason, or when Shane held her down to force her to have sex, even in front of the children.

The toddler beds had already been moved into the Grimes home, so the trip, which Lori said was the last time she wanted to be in the house, was to the two gather anything of personal value. Michonne walked around the house, noticing dried blood spatter on different walls.

“Oh, sorry. I thought I got that.” Lori mumble when she walked into the kitchen and saw Michonne, transfixed at the now brown stains on the edge of the kitchen hutch.

“S’alright.” The black beauty replied, casting an empathetic gaze at her friend. She looked around at the family room. The walls were stark white, and no pictures adorned the walls. The room was outdated with furniture was dated with 1990’s era furniture.

While gathering the few toys the children had the women continued to talk about their past, and the circumstances in which they found themselves in. The two sat on the sofa, the same one on which Lori sat by herself just a week earlier when the second Grimes family entered the Alexandria gates.

Although the atmosphere in the home was comfortable, they were sitting in awkward silence for a few moments until Michonne spoke first.

“Lori, I’m sorry. Twenty years with Rick, it’s gotta be hard to see him with someone else.”

The brunette nodded, then nodded her head. “But he told me about you. You saved him.”

“I like to think he saved me too. He loves you. The first day I met him was at a quarry, and he was so sad. I never knew a man could cry that much.”

Outside the sun was setting, casting an amber glow and filling the dimly lit room with an orange haze. The two continued talking, “Are you still in love with him?” Michonne asked.

Lori nodded vigorously. “Absolutely. He’s my first love. We met in high school. When Shane told me he was dead I wanted to die. But I had Carl and I was pregnant with Michael. He’s the only one in the world I want to grow old with. You love him too?”

Michonne paused, and eventually said, “Yes. I’m in love with him.”

The tension was thick. Both women loved the same man and wanted to live a life with him.

“Hang on a second,” Lori said, before hopping off the couch and going into the kitchen. She returned a few minutes later with two bottles of wine and two juice glasses. “It's wine o’clock, isn’t it?”

Michonne, after not seeing alcohol in years, smiled and clapped her hands together.

“Hell yeah it is!”

Lori opened the first bottle and poured the reddish liquid into each glass which the women clinked together, saying “cheers.”

xxxxx

An hour later, when the last drop of wine was gone, the women were laughing like old friends, and telling secrets they would usually keep to themselves.

Lori told Michonne about the time Rick pulled a double shift and was exhausted, but wanted to be intimate when they crawled into bed. Michonne was laughing so hard she was almost gasping for air when she was told her Rick had fallen asleep while going down on her. They talked about sex, and how tender Rick was. Andre’s father wasn’t as romantic as Rick, and Lori didn’t even mention Shane.

“Like, he’s good, but I have to do the final push sometimes.” Michonne giggled.

“Oh my GOD yes…like one time I wanted to say to him Ii ‘if you don’t know what you’re doing, don’t do it faster.’ ‘Cuz sometimes a quickie is like ten seconds. Does he still sound like a puppy when he cums?”

“Yes!” Michelle shouted in laughter. “You haven’t done it yet?”

“No…it’s weird.”

“Say no more…I understand. Well, I think a woman knows what to do. I had a girlfriend in law school, and it’s like…only a woman knows what a woman really wants….you know what I mean?”

Lori was nodding and laughing.

“C’mere. Let me show you.” The former lawyer said.

Michonne leaned forward and cupped Lori’s face in her hands. She pulled her ally toward her and the black beauty brushed her thick, plump lips against the brunette’s lips.

A strange expression broke over Lori’s face, a look of pure shock. Then it slowly dawned on her like a creeping chill that before her lay a new experience. Michonne had already established herself as a confidante and close friend, and knowing she prevented Rick from doing the unthinkable gave her a special place in Lori’s heart. Now, after her first same-sex kiss, and with a bottle of wine in her system, Lori’s light brown eyes locked with Michonne’s dark browns.

With a sly smile, Lori let herself be kissed again, and when she felt the other woman’s tongue at her lips she gladly gave it permission to claim her mouth.

“I think I may be a little drunk” Lori slurred as she smiled.

“Ya think?” Michonne giggled. “We each drank a bottle of wine.”

Brown hands ran through black hair as long, white fingers played with the curls that covered the other woman’s head.

Michonne was the first to remove clothing, letting her shirt and bra land on the floor, joining the empty wine bottles. Lori didn’t need much coaxing when Michonne started to tug on the brunette’s pants.

“Sometimes it’s okay to just lie there and enjoy it. Let me do all the work.” Michonne smiled.

xxxxx

When his meeting with Deanna was over, the two shook hands, agreeing that they need more coverage for the blind spots. It was dark when he went back to his house, and after he shut the door he shed his jacket and was about to toe off his boots when he saw Carl enter the hallway.

“Hey bud. Mom and Michonne here?”

“No. They’re not back yet.”

Rick’s heart froze. He didn’t want to scare his son, so he casually said “they’re probably just talking. I’ll go check.”

He slipped the jacket back on and left the house, heading to the only place he knew they were…at Lori’s former home.

He jogged to the house, his heart thundering in his chest. The two women in his life were missing. One he went years without seeing, and the other healed his soul. He bounded up the steps and opened the front door, placing his hand on the butt of his gun as he walked through the darkened house.

“Lori? ‘Chonne? You guys here?” He asked, trying to control the panic in his voice.

The moans got his attention, which he followed to the living room. Only one lamp was on, giving the dark room just a twinge of light. He thought he was hallucinating again. He was transfixed, not being able to take his eyes off the sight that was on the sofa. Both women were naked, Lori’s long legs were draped over Michonne’s shoulders, whose head was firmly planted at his wife’s center.

Lori’s head was back, her eyes closed, almost as if she was lost in her own world.

The two didn’t hear him come in, nor did they hear him walk back to the front door and engage the deadbolt. His feet carried him across the room to where the two women were.

“Should we let him join in?” Michonne joked as she watched as Lori’s body shake slightly from another orgasm.

Lori wasn’t able to answer her question, she was simply staring at her husband. She knew that there was nothing else in this world she wanted than to feel him inside of her again.

xxxxx

The three walked back to the house, the women trying to hide the blatant fact that they were falling down drunk. Rick directed Carl and the younger kids to go into the room they converted into a playroom for the children while Lori and Michonne stumbled upstairs and decided to take a shower together.

xxxxx

Rick woke up as the sun began to flood the master bedroom with a warm glow. He had barely slept in the easy chair that rested in the corner of the large room. His mind was racing, trying to remember what happened. He thought it was because of the booze. He and Lori had watched porn together dozens of times over the years, and while she loved watching a man go down on a woman, she was “freaked out” by two women together. A smile touched his lips when he vividly remembered her taking him into her mouth as he watched the two women together. Their sex life was always very healthy.

Michonne never mentioned she was bi-sexual, but that would explain how she was so eager for the three to live as a family. He was sleeping alone, as to not hurt either woman’s feelings, but he hoped that would change. He loved both women, for different reasons, and the intense and all-consuming love he had for one didn’t diminish the feelings he had for the other.

They could make it work, he reasoned to himself. The world had ended, and societal norms didn’t apply anymore. It was nobody’s business what happened in their home, and if they wanted an unconventional relationship, he could make it happen. He’d do anything for the women he loved.

He stood and walked over to the king sized bed. Both women were still passed out, Michonne lying on her side, facing away from Lori, and the latter on her stomach, her long black hair splayed across the pillow and her left arm hanging off the mattress.

Rick looked at the woman who tore his heart out when he thought she was dead. After years he finally claimed her again the night before, although she may not remember much. He hoped it wasn’t taking advantage. He knew it wasn’t. She meant more to him than the next breath that filled his lungs. He would never hurt her. His lips teased a smile when he thought about having mind-blowing sex with his wife again…something just weeks ago he thought would never happen again.

He pulled back the covers to look at his naked wife.  Her back was completely cover with deep scars, bruises, and welts. Criss-crossed white scars littered her back. He saw some healed burns, and the tattoo she got two months before the shooting, of lovebirds sitting on a tree branch, their initials “RMG and “LAG” surrounded by hearts, looked as though Shane tried to cut it off. The RMG was illegible, and the scabs were still present. He sighed, thinking of what she went through. She was the woman who kept his heart carefully guarded and locked up tight. He replaced the blankets, washed up in the bathroom, and quietly left the room after putting the trash basket from the bathroom next to Lori’s side of the bed for the inevitable vomiting.

xxxxx

He left the bedroom and went to the kitchen, seeing all the children but Carl. Rick was about to ask Andre where his brother was, but Michael gingerly walked up to the man who he is learning to call “dad” and said he had to use the bathroom. Rick nodded and took Michael’s hand, escorting him to the hallway bathroom.

Carl was startled when he realized he forgot to lock the door, and Rick screamed when he saw his son, sitting on the bathroom floor, razor blade in his hand and horizontal cuts from his ankle to his knee.


	10. Carl

“Do you know what I’ve been through?  Do you know what he did to her?  What he did to my brother and sisters?  I was just a kid.  I didn’t want to leave my home.  I had all my stuff in my room, and I loved my room.  I wanted to go back to normal.  He was always yelling.  When we were at our home, just you me and mom, I’d hear weird noises at night.  When I went to look for the noise, it came from your bedroom.  One time I looked in.  You didn’t see me but I saw you.  I’d hear you laugh.  Back then I didn’t know what it was, but since you laughed I thought it was okay.  Then I’d hear the same noise when we got here, but mom would be crying.  I could hear him hitting her.”

Rick shifted in his seat, acing to get up and hold his son.  Lori was on the couch, right next to him, wiping away the never ending stream of tears.  They both watched as their son paced the floor, the memories and emotions flowing out.

“Mom didn’t know so don’t blame her.  I started about a year ago.  It just got too much.  I missed my dad.  I missed my home and my room.  I wanted to go home.  Shane was screaming all the time.  I tried to help mom, but when I did he’d punch me.  He hated Mikey.  He always said he’s kill him and he always called him a little shit.  I’d share a room with him and sleep in front of the door so Shane couldn’t come in during the night.  I just wanted to go back to the way it used to be.  Just the three of us in our home.”

Rick hung his head.  He wanted to erase all the pain his son had.  Over the past year Carl consistently wore long sleeves and pants, despite the Atlanta heat.  Now, in front of his parents, he wore a tee shirt and shorts.  Lori was transfixed, looking at the healed but still visible marks on each of his legs, from ankle to thigh, and his arms, from shoulder to wrist.

“Nobody knew.  Gramma and pop pop were so nice.  I’ll bet you never had to help your mom clean up her own blood.”  He looked at Rick, spite and venom in his eyes.

“The way he treated my sisters.  I tried to stop, and they’d hug me and cry.  I couldn’t tell them it’d be okay ‘cuz I knew it wouldn’t.  I wanted to die but if I did nobody would protect them or mom.  When Shannon was born she was crying all night long and he was mad.  I heard thumps and went into the kitchen.  Mom was doubled over on the floor, holding Shannon and Shane was whipping her back with a belt.  I tried to stop him but he was too strong.  He stopped being Uncle Shane.  When we left our home we went to Fort Benning but it was taken over by those things.  He was mad and punched mom.  A soldier told him about a cure in Washington and he shot the guy before driving away.”

Carl paced the floor, his parents sitting in stoic silence.  The younger Grime’s gaze landed on Rick and his stare bore through the officer, right to his soul.

“I didn’t want this.  I wanted to go home.  I just wanted to go home and be in my room.  I missed you so much.  Shane was so mean.  Mikey and my sisters….they never even had a coloring book or toys because Shane didn’t want the mess.  He didn’want any noise because it would make him angry.  I’d go see Ron and he’d have DVDs.  We’d watch them but at that house Shane never let them see anything.  My four year old brother never saw a cartoon.  Never used a crayon.  I just wanted everything to stop.  I wanted to go home.  I wanted it to be the way it used to be.  Just you, me and mom in our house.  You and me, dad.  Like, after dinner we’d go in the back yard and you’d help me work on my baseball swing.  Remember?  I missed playing with Duane.  I even missed school.  Every day, right before I open my eyes, I want to wake up in my old room, with the Star Wars poster on the door and all my stuff around.  I’d cry myself to sleep and sometimes I still wanted to die because I felt trapped.  Mom did everything she could, because she was just as scared as him as I was.  But he never cared.  He told me you were dead and he never asked me if I was okay.”

Carl’s wobbly legs carried him to the couch on the other side of the room, where he flopped down, put his elbows on his lap and rested his head in his hand.  Both Rick and Lori came over and sat on either side of their son, each enveloping him with their arms and holding him tightly as he sobbed.

“All that time I just wanted my dad back.  But you moved on and had another family.  Did you even look for us?”

Rick’s red face was streaked with tears as he nodded yes.  There were no words he could say at this moment.

“I’m sorry.”  Carl sobbed, holding his dad’s hand and his body wracked with deep, heart wrenching sobs as he poured his heart out into the crook of his mother’s arm.

xxxxx

They sat together until Rick got up to answer a knock at the door.  Michonne had taken all of the children to Daryl and Beth’s, allowing the three privacy.  She left them in the care of the Dixons for just a moment when she knocked on Pete’s door and let him know he was needed.

She stood on the porch and watched as Pete briskly walked down the street, dropping off his sons with the ever growing Alexandria family.  Michonne closed her eyes, hoping for the best when she watched the doctor enter the Grimes home.  The hangover had to wait.  More important things needed attention.

xxxxx

“None of the lacerations look too deep, and most have healed.”  Pete said somberly and he carefully examined Carl.  He looked the boy in the eye and asked “You alright, buddy?”

Rick had showed compassion during the week he was back, but in the four years before he started cutting nobody, other than his mother, had shown concern for the teen.  Nobody understood what was going on in his mind.

xxxxx

The two Grimes were in the master bedroom, giving Carl privacy to talk freely to Pete.

Lori sat quietly as Rick was pacing around the room, the same way their son was moving just an hour earlier.  Both parents were trying to digest what their son experienced.  Lori was quiet, wiping away the tears that flooded out of her eyes. 

“I didn’t know.  I didn’t know.  I’m sorry, Rick.  I didn’t know.  I’m sorry.”  She repeated herself, wracked with guilt.  “How could I not see it?”

Rick noticed she started rocking back and forth and pulled at her hair.

“I had no idea. I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.  I didn’t know.” 

He quietly walked over and sat next to his wife.  She was trembling and flinched when Rick put his arm around her.  Out of habit she moved away and started to pull handfuls of her hair out.  The long, black strands landed on the floor, and Rick watched in sadness as she stood up and walked to the corner of the room, moving her hands from her hair to covering her ears.  She sat on the floor, her back against the wall, legs bent and close to her chest.

“I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.”  Panic and hysteria started to control her sentiments, and she lost all control of her emotions.


	11. I still love you

The rest of the day was spent in comfortable silence.  The first few moments were awkward, but it didn’t take long for them to fall into the familiar routine of their previous life.

Michonne gladly kept all of the children with the Dixons, and the original Grimes family…Rick, Lori and Carl, spent hours together.  They fondly remembered their life before the plague, and the parents held back and let Carl talk.  He mentioned everything from missing his friend Dwayne Jones to his friends at school.  He was hoping that someday they could go back to their old home. 

“Maybe when everything is normal?  When there’s a cure?  It could be us again?”  He asked, anticipation and guarded optimism in his eyes.

“I don’t know, bud.  Maybe.”  Rick responded, firmly hugging the son he thought he lost. 

xxxxx

At Carl’s request, the three spent the evening together.  Lori was able to make chicken and noodles, Carl’s favorite meal.  He wanted to hold on to the last memories of a previous life.

After dinner was over the three sat together on the sofa, watching a DVD of The Simpsons.  Carl sat between his parents, who each had an arm around him.

Lori was thinking about the internal pain and rage Carl had, and the way he took his anger out on himself.  She couldn’t bring those five years back.  But she had her husband back, and her family was bigger.  There was no use in mourning the loss of the five years, she could only focus on the future.  Her fingers rubbed against Rick’s forearm, caching his attention.  When they made eye contact, they knew what the other was thinking…they had to work together to protect their family.

xxxxx

When the house was quiet and Carl had fallen asleep in his bed, the original Mister and Missus Grimes, knowing that their other children were in good hands, relaxed on the couch together.  Just the way they used to when Carl went to bed.  Neither one realized how much they missed this so much. 

“You ever think about our home?  Maybe find a way to go back?  I miss it.  I miss our old life.”  Lori stated, somberly.

Rick nodded his head, “Yeah, I remember.  I miss it too.  I miss coming home to you every night.”

They sat together on the couch, not talking, not feeling the need to.  The previous evening was still on his mind.  Her decisions were clouded by the alcohol, but tonight would be their first night together.

The sun had set long ago, leaving the dark room illuminated only by a single light in the nearby kitchen.  Rick wanted to claim his wife again.  She was stolen from him.  Five years were gone, but now she was here.  A long, lingering look between them was broken only when he leaned forward and brushed his lips against her.  Gently at first, then more aggressive.  She slightly flinched when he raised his hand to cup one side on her face. 

He moved closer as their kisses became more passionate. 

After he shoved his tongue in her mouth and pulled her even closer, he moved from her mouth to her neck.  He left a trail of aggressive kisses from her earlobe to her collarbone before she leaned back on the couch, pulling him on top of her.  He didn’t need an invitation to start a passionate sexual encounter with the woman who still owns his heart.

She could feel the bulge against her groin, his jeans ready to explode with the force of his erection.  He knew he wouldn’t last long.  She never looked so beautiful, and he was thirsty to be with her again.

She whispered in his ear “take me to bed.”

Rick stood, and never broke physical contact with his wife.  She wrapped her long legs around his torso and arms around his neck.  He held her ass as he scurried up the stairs and into the master bedroom.

She wanted the lights off.  Their romance that once indulged in noontime romps in the backyard was now limited to the pale moonlight letting them focus on each other. 

He shut the door with his foot and used his hip to push engage the lock, all while deeply kissing the women he fell in love with more than twenty years ago.  He walked the ten paces to drop her on the unmade bed and it was a race to get undressed.  He toed off his boots and ripped off his jeans before yanking off her panties.

Her body seemed to scream at him, his primal need pummeling at his consciousness as he watched her naked body.  He climbed onto the bed, perched on top of his wife, and softly laid his entire body on top of her.  She looked so beautiful, her eyes closed in anticipation, her face lightly glazed in perspiration, and her breasts thrust upward. 

They did this dance countless times before.  She saw the sparkle in his baby blue eyes as he pressed into her in one muscular movement.  His mouth covered hers, their tongues penetrating each other’s mouths, and their hands exploring each other. 

After minutes of pounding into her with a punishing rhythm, and hearing their collective, frantic moans Rick’s tensed his muscles, feeling the familiar tightness around his rock hard member as his wife came strongly under him. 

While she was still trembling from her strong climax, he crashed into her, holding her body tightly.  His orgasm was blissful, a stronger feeling than he had in years.  He yelped as he felt the never ending stream of cum shoot from him, deep into his love.

He collapsed on top of her, unable to move.  He moved his arms under her shoulders and wiped her silky hair away from her face.  She turned her head to the side, but not before he saw what she was trying to hide. 

Her face was damp with tears, and he could hear her soft whimpers.  He rose himself up on his hands, which made it easy for her to push him away and move out from under him.  She sat on the edge of the mattress, and with the moonlight he saw her shoulder slump forward.

“Baby, did I hurt you?”

“No.”  She answered as she swatted away tears she didn’t want.  She couldn’t show weakness.  “I’m alright.”  She said flatly, her voice faltering.

Her reaction alarmed him.  Intimacy was never a problem.  After years apart, he thought maybe it was embarrassment of being caught with a woman the previous night.  He sat on the mattress and reached for the nightstand lamp, switching it on.

As soon as the room lit up, she begged for the light to be turned off.  But he soon realized the reason behind her inhibition.  He saw the scars that morning, before going downstairs and finding out Carl’s secret.  He didn’t see her chest. 

Healed, crescent shaped scars littered her torso, from her shoulders to her navel.  Bite marks.  Old burns, welts, and distinct marks on her breasts that appeared to be the word “mine.”  Another word on her stomach was scars of the word “cunt.”  Her right nipple was gone, replaced a ragged, raised scar.

She watched him as his eyes scanned her body, and she stood to show the other marks.  She felt uncomfortable, but stood in front of him, ready to be inspected.  Her left thigh was marked with the scarred word “whore” and  her right thigh appeared to show what was some attempt to brand her as “mine.”

She started trembling before he extended his hand and helped her back into the bed.  He flipped off the light and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly.

“It’s alright.  You’re safe now.”  He whispered, the same words he said to their son hours earlier.

Rick held her closely through the night, feeling a sense of blind rage at his former friend.  He did, however, feel a sense of completion, as though he had everything he ever wanted.  Yet he couldn’t shake the sense of dread that clenched his heart.

xxxxx

When the pale light began to flood the bedroom, Rick looked at the woman who was asleep in his arms.  The memories he kept locked up came flooding back.  Going to his home…their home…and not finding anybody, the hallucinations he saw almost every day, getting together with Michonne and starting another family.  But there was something about the first love that never fades away. 

Her raven locks were splayed around his shoulder and the pillow, and he admired her beauty.  He saw the scars and fading bruises on her face and throat, but to him there was never another more beautiful woman.

In the early morning light she looked so delicate, and her black hair was a stark contrast to her ivory skin.  He began to gently kiss her mouth, moving to her cheek and continued to her shoulder.  Without flinching this time, she opened her eyes and saw the only man she ever loved.  He didn’t need permission to enter her, she was wordlessly begging for him again.

Across the room, in the mirror above the dresser, she could see their reflection.  She lay beneath him, her legs hooked tightly around his hips, his muscular ass flexing with every thrust.  It was the most erotic thing she had ever seen, and her muscles instantly began to coil and tighten.  He groaned and tunneled his fingers through her hair, kissing her mouth with ever increasing force as he brought her to the crest of pleasure that left her weak and breathless.

She moaned as her muscles gripped and pulsed around him, and he was seconds behind her.  He moved faster and pressed his forehead to hers, squeezing his eye shut as every muscles in his body tightened before he released his warmth. 

They laid together, tightly wrapped in each other’s arms, their bodies still joined as intimately as they could be. 

xxxxx

Lori was making breakfast of juice and pancakes when Rick opened the door to let in Michonne and the children. 

Michonne received quick, on-the-lips kisses from both Rick and Lori, the latter squatted down to extend her arms and accept her three daughters and Michael. 

“Mama!  Mama! Mama!  Shannon, the youngest at two years old squealed, as she ran over.  All the children jumped into their mother’s arms, and she could feel the wiry grip of Shannon’s knees at her waist. 

Rick saw a sparkle in Lori’s eyes when she had her children with her.  It was something that wasn’t there when they arrived over a week ago.  She knew they were safe now.  She know nobody had to worry anymore.

Carl hugged his siblings, then walked over to his father, who had Julia in one arm and Catherine in the other, and wanted to hold one of his baby sister.

Rick smiled broadly as he looked at his family…larger, but it was his.  He had the love of his life, the one who saved his life, and his children all under the same roof.

His smile faltered when for just a moment, he felt the same feeling of dread that he sensed last night.


	12. Put the pieces

He didn’t ask about the men with the burned faces.  He didn’t care.  He enjoyed the power the man seem to have over everyone.  More than anything else, he hated handing over control to someone else.  He was supposed to be in charge.  This was Shane’s world, until Rick came back and destroyed everything.  He had it all.  A bitch he had at home, who never complained about how he took out his rage on her.  She wouldn’t dare. 

He put up with Carl, and when Michael was born he knew it was Rick’s kid.  The doctor told her to wait before having sex again, something he ignored.  He smiled when he remembered the cries of the bitch, Carl and the brat as he took control.  She was his.  She needed to obey.  And he took everything he wanted.  She got pregnant again, and fatter than before.  He was the only one in the neighborhood who didn’t stop by to say hello during her day’s long labor.  Twins that time, both girls.  She failed to give him a son.  She paid for it dearly.  She couldn’t nurse two babies at once with only one nipple.

He seethed when she was pregnant again.  Another girl.  She still bore the marks of his anger.  He wanted a son of his own.  Dumb bitch couldn’t do it.

He couldn’t sleep…he was seething when he thought of some jackass running the show.  And the idiotic baseball bat.  In the week since he arrived he was given a medical checkup, food, water and shelter.  The months he was on the road took a toll on his mental and physical health, and he was happy to do whatever it took to have shelter.

And he smiled every time he bowed down to the man, thinking of how it will be once people will be genuflecting to him.

xxxxx

The morning Michonne left their home after a very busy and noisy night, Beth stood in the doorway, watching as the black beauty walked back to the Grimes house with all the children. 

The blonde chuckled when she saw how aptly the woman took care of the small gaggle of children.  Andre was walking by her left side, one hand holding Michael’s, and the other holding Katie’s. 

Michonne held Catherine close to her chest and had Kelly, Julia and Shannon each holding a finger on her right hand.  She kept an eye on them until she saw her walk up the stairs to the former Dixon house.  As Rick opened the door to let his family inside.

xxxxx

Daryl watched his wife as she was standing in the doorway, then whispered in her ear, “’Nette’s still sleepin.”

After taking a steamy shower together, Beth still in a state of bliss from her orgasm, Daryl sat on the edge of the bed as he watched as she got dressed. He put on just a pair of his boxers, not putting a shirt on, since she has already seen the scars. He was quiet, and kept his eye on her until she sat next to him.

"You alright?" she asked, innocently.

"Your dad was cool. He was a good man. You're lucky to have him as your dad. My dad was a shit. Mom was high or always at some dive bar, trying to find someone to keep her warm that night. Merle was usually in lockup, so it was just me most of the time, until dickhead came home from whatever bender he was on. He was always so angry. He would throw things at me. Knives, plates, anything he knew would hurt. He beat me with a belt more times than I could count. He one time made me sit near the stove and heated up a pan of cooking oil. I remember it was almost boiling it was so hot. He told me to stand up and take my pants down. I said no, so he got me out of the chair by my hair and threw me on the floor. He put a metal spatula in the oil, then when it was hot enough he started beating me with it. It hurt cuz the hot oil stuck to my skin. I was a kid, maybe nine years old. He took the pan and tried to throw the oil on me, but I was able to get away with only a little on me."

Daryl didn't realize he was crying until he felt the angry tears run down his face. Beth put her arm around him, trying to comfort him as best as she could.

"I was a kid. Just a kid. Some kids know how to make coffee in the morning for their parents, I was making Jack and coke at six am for him. If I didn't get it just right or get it to him just in time, he'd beat me until I'd pass out. Then he'd be gone for another week or two, and I'd take care of myself. I'd go to school in the same clothes cuz we didn't have a washer and I didn't have anything else. One kid teased me once. I laid him out, and he never said nothing again. I'd be alone for days, with nothing to eat at home. Merle would come home and take care of me for a couple months, until he fucked up and was locked up again. When I turned ten there was no party. I rode my bike down the road, and later there were fire trucks goin to my house. My mom fell asleep with a cigarette. Burned so bad they used her teeth to tell who she was. I never heard from my dad again. I was in foster care, which was worse. I'd take clothes and money, and be gone for months, ten and on my own. I never had a family. Not a real one. I never had someone talk to me the way you do. But I'm scared Beth. I'm scared that I'll be like my dad.”

He was mad at himself for crying, and furious at himself when he started sobbing.

"You're not. I can tell. You're not him. I see how you are with our little girl. You're a good person. You're not your father. And I know that." 

She rubbed her hands over his bare back, her fingers moving over the tight ridges of the healed broken skin.  She kissed his shoulder, and hated that she had to leave the room when she hears the soft cries of her daughter. 

She stood in front of him and cupped his face in her hands, lifting it to her face.  "I love you."  The blonde told him, bluntly yet sincerely.

He held her by the waist, meeting her lips with his and replied, "I love you too."

xxxxx

The months passed. Annette was healthy and growing quickly, the Grimes family was becoming closer both emotionally and physically.  Carl was able to talk to Daryl about what Shane did.  Michonne and Rick resumed their sex life, the first few times while Lori was out for a walk with the children, other times while she was in the next room.

Rick and Lori delicately explained the situation with Michonne, reassuring him that she’s his “bonus” mom, and loves him dearly.  The original married couple continued their romance, and the former officer was ecstatic that both his families interacted so well.

xxxxx

The morning after they received a dusting of snow, Daryl swept a path to the sidewalk, than gathered some snow to let his daughter feel and explore it for the first time. 

The baby’s eyes lit up when she placed her hands on the white fluff, and her parents chuckled when she immediately brought a fistful to her mouth and was surprised at how quickly it melted.  Daryl gave both his girls a kiss and went back outside.  Beth started to shut the door, but stopped.

Her blood ran cold when she recognized Aaron’s car parked in front of Deanna’s house.  The young man hopped out and ran over to the passenger side, helping out an older man with white hair.

She bolted, without shoes or a jacket, down the street to grab onto her father, Maggie and Glenn, and formally met her niece, Josephine.

xxxxx

After being interviewed by Deanna and a medical checkup by Pete, the group was relaxing in the Dixon home.  Hershel was overjoyed to be with both his daughters, and two granddaughters.  The Greene and Rhee family brought familiar faces with them, Andrea, Carol, Sophia and Abe, who was raising his two children and his brother’s two children on his own.  Becca, AJ, William and Benjamin, all under the age of ten, had fallen asleep on different couches after taking hot showers, wearing new clothes, and devouring a home cooked meal.

When the children were out of earshot they talked about losing a very pregnant Sasha and Bob to a herd of walkers when they thought they found solace in a place named Terminus.

Even after spending months on the road, surviving a harsh winter and going days without eating, Andrea seemed disgusted by the fresh chicken and vegetables that sat in front of her.  She excused herself and left the house, walking out into the cold darkness. 

As the door shut, Hershel smiled and exclaimed, “thank you, Jesus.”

After a round of chuckles, he explained how much of a handful the bothersome blonde was over the past few months.  The topic turned to their familiar friend.

“So Rick found his wife and son.  That’s nothing short of a miracle.”  Hershel said, proudly. 

“More to it than that.”  Daryl responded, and said he’d wait to explain the details.


	13. Sisters

Rick, Michonne, Andre and Julia were reunited with Hershel and Maggie, and later saw Abe, his children and a new face, Eugene Porter, who still bore the bruise of broken nose, the result of confessing to a lie about a cure in Washington DC.

“We’ve heard so much about you and your son.  It’s a blessing you found Rick again.”  Hershel told Lori, as they sat around the table in the noisy Grimes home, as the Ford children played with the Grimes offspring.  Hershel held Catherine, who was just a month older than his own granddaughters.  “You’re repopulating the planet.”  He joked, as he looked around at the ever expanding group of children.

They didn’t ask about the sleeping situation, thankfully.  Daryl, Glenn and Abe, however, were intrigued at how closely the two Missuses Grimes were sitting, and how they both would lovingly reach out and touch each other’s arm.

Michonne rolled her eyes and grimaced when she found out Andrea was alive and well, and living with Jessie in the former Walsh home.

“Who’s Andrea?”  Lori asked.

Rick and Michonne looked at each other and chuckled before the former told his wife about the troublesome blonde.

“Picture the spoiled brat from high school who never grew up.  That’s Andrea.”  Rick said as he rubbed his finger through his lair.

“She never grew up turns everything into a dramatic scene.  Like, when we were at the prison I had just given birth to Julia.  Hours later she stubbed her toe and acted like it was the worst thing in the world.  The funny thing was, whenever someone was around, she’d cry more.  It was all an act to get attention.”  Michonne responded as she shook her head.

xxxxx

Hershel walked his daughters back to the home he shared with them and Abraham.  He mentioned asking Father Gabriel having another wedding ceremony for Beth, since he wasn’t able to attend the first one.  Rick smiled as he nodded, immediately setting a plan in place for him and his women.

xxxxx

The sky was ablaze with a palate of colors as the sun was setting, bringing to end another day behind the safety of the Alexandria walls. Rick gave both his loves a kiss before he headed off to walk around the neighborhood for his shift, and after the women worked as a team to clean the kitchen, Aaron came over to follow through with the plan.

 

Christmas, or what they designated as the holiday, was coming up soon, and Michonne first brought the idea to Lori, who later spoke to the young man.

One of the few pictures that used to hang on the guest room wall was a dime a dozen print bought ages ago at a major department store.  Lori removed the back and flipped the cheap picture over in order to make way for what their joint Christmas gift to Rick would be.

xxxxx

It was Michonne’s turn first.  She sat on the couch with Andre by her side, Julia on her lap and Catherine in her arms.  Aaron got as close as he could get and pressed the button on the old Polaroid camera, grabbing the undeveloped image as it whirled out.

Next was Lori, who sat with Carl, Michael, Kelly, Katie and Shannon, giving the camera the same radiant smiles.

Then both women, and all children, sat together.  Carl sat between his mom and step-mom, holding Catherine on his lap.  Katie and Kelly sat like book ends, one with Lori and the other with Michonne.  The moms sat with their arms around each Carl, forming a large, tight family.

They thanked Aaron and said their goodbyes as he left, then Michonne started the process of getting the kids ready for bed and Lori started to place all three photos in the frame.  The one of the entire family was in the center, flanked by the individual moms on either side.  She used old pieces of tape to secure the back of the frame.  She smiled when she saw her large extended family.

xxxxx

She thought of how thing would be different if the world never ended.  Before the turn, if Rick had a second family she’d have divorce papers drawn up, but a different world calls for a different life.  As much as she detested Shane, and hoped she would never have to see him again, she loved her daughters.  She hated the ugly fact that he had any biological claim to them and was emotionally moved when Rick said they were HIS daughters. 

Lori was transfixed, staring at the framed pictures, thinking that if they never had the apocalypse and Shane never would have kidnapped her and Carl, she’d be able to take care of Rick and nurse him back to health.  Her rage for her ex was matched only by the love she had for Michonne and her step-children.  Her daughters may never have existed if the world didn’t end.

She loved Michonne because she saved Rick from taking his own life.  The solidarity she found with the other woman was unlike a friendship she’s ever had before, and the woman helped her unlock her own, secret desires and discover levels of pleasure she never knew existed.  Ever since that first night in her old house just a few short months ago, they became lovers, having to hide their romps from the children.

They each enjoyed their time with Rick, although they haven’t been together as a trio…not yet.  The two women still shared a room and talked during the night like college roommates.  They held each other while they talked about who they lost and their pasts, and would make love quietly.

She never thought she’d picture herself with another woman.  She never pictured herself sharing her husband.  But she never thought the dead would start walking around.  Firmly holding the picture, she walked upstairs and placed it under her bed before helping get the other children get ready for bed.

xxxxx

Hours later, when everyone was asleep, Lori and Michonne had just finished an intense moment of intimacy, this time in Rick’s bed.  They decided that it was time to become an official family, and fell asleep in each other’s arms, waiting for Rick to get home. 

Neither one knew that in less than twenty-four hours their lives would change forever.

 

 

 


	14. A Larger World

The panicked, early morning doorbell awoke everyone.  Rick, who was sleeping between Lori and Michonne, rolled over Lori to find his clothes and quickly dress before grabbing his Colt and ran downstairs.

He grimaced when he looked out of the nearby window and saw two blondes standing in place, anxious for him to open the door.

Rick turned the doorknob slightly before both women, using their weight as leverage, pushed into the house.  Although it was only six in the morning, they were clearly drunk.

“Morning, Ricky.  Long time, eh?  I heard you found Little Miss Muffet.”  Andrea slurred out.

“Time to go.”  He said, trying to grab Jessie’s arm.

“No, I wanna see the lezzbos.”  The portly blonde yelled.  “Christ, Rick…your neck.  Both chicks fuck you last night…you got hickies all over.”

“Out.”  Rick replied, sternly.

“There they are!”  Andrea squealed. 

Michonne and Lori had walked down the steps together, the former making eye contact with the one woman she never wanted to see again, and the latter seeing the infamous brat for the first time.

“Look at Olive Oyl.  This is who you cried over?”  She chuckled and added “you could do so much better.  But this is what you cried over?”  Andrea asked as she stumbled and landed on the couch.

“Hello, Andrea.  Good to see you’re alive.”  Michonne stated, flatly.

Rick immediately moved closer as Andrea quickly approached Michonne, waving her bony finger inches from the woman’s face. 

“You can't hold onto any man. Have you ever wondered why you have no friends? Because you are literally only fooling yourself. Everyone knows the truth. Not sure who raised you, I bet your family doesn't even know you eat pussy because you know it's shameful. There's a reason absolutely no one, and I mean NO ONE, likes you.  You gotta share a man ‘cuz he’s too nice to dump your ass.”

“Andrea, get out.  Now.”  Rick used his rusty police skills to restrain the woman, but Michonne asked him to stop.

“That’s alright, hon.” She turned her attention to the unwelcome visitor.  “What else?  We weren’t friends on the road, but we weren’t enemies.  What changed?”

 “WHAT? Where did you come up with that? What reality are you existing in?  We could've gotten along?  Are you actually holding out hope that someday I'll be like ‘yeah, let's bury the hatchet and become friends?  You're COMPLETELY delusional. I truly, honestly, don't know what could make you think, for a SECOND, we would ever be able to get along. You have no idea the depths to which I hate you, loathe and utterly despise you. You fill me with disgust. You always will. So no. We'll never get along. Jesus Christ.”

Michonne chuckled, which seemed to enrage the unreasonable woman.

“Oh, I like that.  What else?  There’s gotta be more.”

Andrea, who was red in the face with anger, continued her tirade. 

“You’re still a sad, desperate woman!  You’re a sick fucking troll who needs to be starved of the attention you’re so desperate for. You’re a dried up old ho.  Nobody likes you.  Everyone has to pretend.  But nobody likes you.”

Lori stepped forward.  “Alright, Angela, is it?”

“Andrea!”

“Whatever, pumpkin.  Listen.  I think I know why you’re such a bitch.  You see, Angelica, you were popular in high school because you developed early and started putting out when you were thirteen. But now you can't stand to look at yourself in the mirror because all you see is a whore. So, you pick on Michonne to avoid the inevitable realization that your body's used up, you’ll never find a man who loves you and you’ll never have a child of your own….you’re what, forty five…fifty?  Never had a child?  That biological clock is dead.  I’ve heard about Ty, Bob, Abe and Rick.  How everyone turned down your advances.  It’s because now you're a worn-out, chalky-skinned burlap sack that even the walkers won't want. How's that? Am I in the ballpark?  See, Michonne and I have a special kind of friendship.”

She turned her back on the robust and walked up to Michonne, and the two enveloped each other in their arms and kissed deeply.

“I love her, Rick loves her, and our children love her.  Who do you have?  Nobody.  Your BFF is someone you’ve known for a few weeks, who is just as materialistic and stupid as you are.  I know why you don’t like Michonne.  Because she’s everything you’re not.  She has a smokin’ hot body, and you have some love handles.  She has a flat tummy despite having three children.  But you…you don’t love anyone, and nobody loves you.  You sleep in an empty bed every night, you have nobody to call you ‘mommy,’ and nobody will mourn you when you die.  You’re nothing more than a horrible, mentally ill loser.  I am, and will forever be, just seriously disgusted with you.”

 

The first Missus Grimes turned her head and full attention back to the second and kissed again, running her hand up and down the woman’s back and smiled as it slowly moved to her front, landing on her breast.  She felt the woman’s nipple harden under her touch

“Michonne is my family, Becky.  Don’t fuck with my family.  I’ve killed the living before, and that was long before the world ended.  Now, dumb and dumber, leave my house right now, because I have an itch that I need to scratch.”

Rick, grateful for the fact that he was standing behind the kitchen island, just pointed at the door to let the blondes leave.

Jessie turned around and yelled “You for real need to go eat a bitch covered ice cream cone. Hope it tastes good.”

“What was that?”  Michonne asked, as Lori left a trail of kisses from her jawline to her collarbone.  “Was that supposed to be an insult?”

The rotund blonde stuttered, than added, “Well….you are what you eat.  Remember that.”

Without a beat, Michonne added, “Than I must be a tall thin brunette.”

xxxxx

 

By late morning, Beth and Maggie were pleading with their father to reconsider leaving.  He wanted to continue with his plans to go to Fort McNair.

“It’s less than an hour away, Bethie.”  Hershel reassured his daughter.  “I’m trying to think ahead.  You don’t have enough crops here, the walls aren’t sturdy, and they’re secured by posts on the outside.  We need the posts to be on the inside.”

Glenn paced around the room and added, “Hershel, Beth’s right.  We don’t even know if the base is still there.  We can be happy here.”

The old man nodded.  “I sure we can.  But I highly doubt a Military base would be taken over.  Abe’s coming with me and Aaron.  I don’t trust those walls, and I have three grandchildren to worry about.”  He stated firmly, pointing to Beth’s protruding belly.

The red-haired man led his daughter, son and two nephews downstairs before reassuring them he’d be okay.  Becca and AJ saw their mother get torn apart in front of them, and William and Benjamin were too young to remember their own mother die, but witnessed Allen, their father die.  Ellen Ford raised them as her own, but the two lost her as well. 

Maggie was silently whimpering on Glenn’s shoulder and Daryl comforted Beth.

“Daddy…please stay.”  Beth begged.

Hershel walked over to his young daughter and enveloped her into a tight hug.

“I’ll be fine, sweetheart.”

xxxxx

“You killed someone?”  Michonne asked with a chuckle.  She had just finished eating and started washing the dishes.

“Oh yeah.  Long ago.  The guy…he was tweaked out on something.”  She swirled the remainder of her juice in her glass.  “I went out after Rick’s shift to pick up some groceries.  We bought our minivan used and never thought about taking the political bumper sticker off.  Well, apparently it was the unpopular guy.  This guy comes running over and tried to pull me out of my seat.  I mean, it was an old sticker!  But he thought that since I had this politician’s sticker on my car that I was a big fan.  So when this guy runs over I reach into my purse and get my Glock 22.  One of the benefits of being married to a cop.”

“Gotta thin the heard.”  Rick stated, as he finished his scrambled eggs.

Michonne chuckled, and Rick smiled at the memory.

“Baby you gotta teach me how to shoot.”  She said to her wife.

“Deal.  You show me how to swing that katana.”  She glanced over her shoulder and saw that the children were out of earshot, then walked over and ran her fingers along Rick’s shoulder.  “I know you can handle a sword.”

Carl walked into the kitchen and smiled when he saw his parents and step-mom doubled over in laughter.

xxxxx

He still smiling at the events of that morning as he planned a supply run to a local hospital.  He knew Lori would object, and tried to reassure her that he’d be in good company.  Pete will go to determine the medical supplies, Reg, a retired cop and Tobin, a retired gunsmith, would be with him. 

When the doctor knocked on the door to ask Rick if he was ready, He kissed both women in his life, and gave tight embraces to Carl and Andre.  He had to get on his knees to hug Julia, Michael, Katie, Kelly and Shannon, and ran his fingers through Catherine’s hair as she was being held by her step-mom, Lori.

xxxxx

Andre was having difficulty seeing the only man he knew of as a father share affection with his mother and another woman.  In order to comfort her son, she offered to take him out for a walk around the neighborhood.  Lori happily agreed to watch all the children, and the two women exchanged a quick kiss before the two left.

They were soon joined by Maggie, Beth, their men and daughters, as well as the Ford children. 

xxxxx

The small group was enjoying the quiet serenity, and didn't hear the semi-truck speeding down the road until it crashed through the gates. The driver opened the back, allowing dozens of walkers to pour out.

xxxxx

Aaron carefully navigated the several dangerous roadblocks in order to get to Fort McNair, finally arriving at their destination just over an hour after they left. The two men were met by eight armed soldiers, all with assault rifles pointed at them.

"Raise your hands, son." Hershel told Aaron.  Abe knew the drill and already had his hands in the air.

One soldier, Lieutenant John Porter, approached the vehicle. He noted it was just the three men in the car, and ordered them out and to the ground. He helped the older man to the ground as they were both searched for any weapons or anything that could be used as a weapon of terror.

"Stand up." Second Lieutenant Hugh Collinson demanded.

After Aaron and Abe got up and helped Hershel to his feet, the latter said he was a combat medic in Vietnam, and was with the one hundredth and ninety fourth Brigade.

"What do you want from us?" Porter snapped.

"We're with a larger group a day's drive away. We have several women, and over a dozen young children, including my two granddaughters. I'm a trauma surgeon, and we have one other doctor in our group, a few police officers, and Abe here is a Marine. We need help, and we can pull our weight."

Aaron watched as one of the officers used a walkie talkie to speak with someone, and the soldiers said that someone will be coming by.

Hershel smiled as he looked around the outside of the base. He could see twenty foot stone walls, and when there was a breeze he smelled manure from farm animals, not the stench of rotting bodies.  There was a distinct smell he hadn’t experienced in a long time…ocean water.

Soon two men, a soldier dressed in fatigues and another dressed in full formal uniform, pulled up to the front gate in a golf cart. A simple nod by the man in uniform allowed the three through the gate.

The passenger got out of the seat of the cart and approached Hershel.

The man looked closely at Hershel, before saying, "Sir. I heard you're good at reattaching left arms." The five star General stood with a slight smile.

After Hershel scanned the man's face for any familiarity before his eyes moved to the General's nametag. "McMurphy."

"Good to see you, Seamus." Hershel beamed.

General McMurphy smiled, saluted, and then embraced Hershel. Aaron and Abe were was introduced, and thanked the man for letting them in.


	15. Here we Remain

Rick, Pete, Reg and Tobin were sullen.  They didn’t have any luck while attempting out a hospital.  Nothing was left. 

They decided to go to a local shopping mall…or what was left of it.  More than five years of lack of caring for the property was evident.  The glass on major shopping stores were broken, the glass ceiling was broken and at least an inch of water covered the floor.  To stay protected from the living and the dead, they drove the SUV into the mall.

They were invisible and started to shop. They stayed together, deciding to take one store at a time.

The visit to Sears produced some clothes, bedding, kitchen supplies and lawn equipment that could be used as weapons.  They picked up some kitchen supplies; pots, pans, and small appliances, screwdrivers, hammers, hatchets, pitchforks and axes.  Rick passed a store that sold baseball caps and picked up three Atlanta Braves, one for each one of his sons.

The next three stores; the child’s clothing store, Books a Million, and Kay Jewelers, were all close by.  Rick chuckled that the last thing people needed at the end of the world was clothing, and was able to fil up several bags.  Each man, thinking of the books their wives or children would like, got everything for adult, mysteries and teens. 

Rick remembered Carl’s words, that his young siblings never used a crayon, and emptied the shelves of all the coloring books and other ones the kids would like.

“Good thing we took the SUV.”  Tobin laughed, as he noticed the ever growing pile of bags.

Rick needed to go to the jewelry store, although he doubted anything was left.  The display cases were broken and emptied, but he smiled when he opened the drawers in the back room.  He found charm bracelets with butterflies, unicorns and ladybugs for his daughters, diamond earrings for both of his ladies, a larger diamond for Lori and a diamond pendant for Michonne.  He hadn’t mentioned his plan yet, but he knew from the morning confrontation with Andrea that it wouldn’t be a problem.  He picked up matching wedding bands, surrounded by diamonds for both ladies.  He wanted to renew his vows with Lori on New Year’s Eve, and have the women “marry” each other.

Happy that they had a successful haul, they decided to go home.

xxxxx

They were taken on a tour of Fort McNair, being driven around in the back of the golf cart.  McMurphy explained to Abe and Aaron that the base is over one hundred thousand acres. When the plague hit, the entire base was closed in. In the blind spots they have two rows of twenty foot tall stone walls, taken from an abandoned building and relocated to the perimeter. Other spots have three rows of barbed wire fencing, and constant armed patrols and look-outs.  The land abuts two rivers, the Potomac and the Anacostia, and is next to the Atlantic Ocean, so there’s no shortage of fresh fish.

The cart pulled up to an office building, and McMurphy, Hershel and Aaron got out of the cart, and the General received a salute by the man who opened the door for him.

They arrived at McMurphy' office, and the General offered his guests a drink. Hershel and Aaron chose water, before the four sat near the big desk in the middle of the room. McMurphy asked Hershel how his wife, Josephine, was doing before he poured a glass of scotch for himself.

“Sir, if you don’t mind, sir.”  Abe asked, before he was given the bitter copper colored fluid for himself.

The General smiled and handed his fellow Military man the booze.

"Well, I guess it has been a while." He said, somberly. "I lost her over twenty years ago. Cancer. I got a beautiful daughter out if it. When I was back on my feet, I got married again to a beautiful woman named Annette. We had a daughter together. Annette died just a year ago of a heart attack. We tried to last as long as we could and met another group…good people.  Our farm fell, and we were on our feet for months before settling into a prison.  Then that fell, and we were separated for months.  We came here, on the word of a man who claimed to have a cure.  We’re in a neighborhood. It's fenced in, and we have about twenty homes. As I said, we have several young children and at least two pregnant women, and two doctors, including myself. But we're exposed, and we need help. I have my two daughters, Seamus, and two granddaughters, and another baby is on the way.  I need help."

General McMurphy looked at the Marine and Aaron and pointed to Hershel.  "This guy…we were under heavy enemy fire. I get my arm blown off at the elbow. Two of my buddies carried me to the medic tent, and soon Doctor Greene here has it back on. It's now fully functional. I can play catch with my grandson. I almost bled out, and Hershel saved my life."

Hershel's features softened at the memory, and Aaron looked at his friend with pride.

"You said about an hour drive?"

"Yes sir." Aaron replied.

 McMurphy looked at his watch, and then said “we'll leave after lunch.  How many people and supplies do you have?"

Quick calculations put the numbers at around thirty people, a small arsenal of weapons, but the house full of food and supplies was depleted. 

"Welcome aboard." General Seamus McMurphy said with a smile.

xxxxx

The sound of the men driving through the gate caught almost everyone's attention. After the second vehicle drove in, the snipers on the platform started shooting, but the men in vehicles started throwing hand grenades. Eric and Aaron's house exploded.  So did the clinic and the Dixon’s.  Eugene, Spencer, Deanna and Olivia started firing through their windows, but their handguns were no match for the AR-15s the men had. A third vehicle, a minivan, drove in, and saw Beth, Maggie, Michonne and the gaggle of children trying to hide behind some shrubs. Four men jumped out and grabbed the one a masked man pointed to, along with Andre. 

The man who pointed to Michonne then ran to the former Dixon house, which was now occupied by the Grimes.  He kicked in the door and didn’t hear anyone on the first floor.  He cocked his head to the side and didn’t hear any noise, but knew how they’d operate.  An evil smirk crossed his face just before he raised his weapon and fired relentlessly at the ceiling, shooting off dozens of rounds within seconds.  He fled the house and jumped back into the van, which as quickly as it drove in, it flew out. More hand grenades were thrown, and more homes caught fire.

Spencer yelled at his mother to go into the basement. He opened the window and fired on someone who had a grenade in his hand. As the man folded to the ground the pin slipped out of the bomb and it rolled under the car. Within seconds the entire vehicle exploded, sending flaming car parts everywhere, setting ablaze to more shrubs, vehicles and homes.

The two vehicles that entered first had some substantial damage before the occupants were taken down by Daryl and Glenn.

xxxxx

Aaron was amazed at the size and scope of the area. The dozen head of cattle they had was dwarfed by the hundreds of cows, a state of the art barn, and the Alexandria's fifty chickens were nothing compared to the thousands of chickens, pig, sheep, goats, ducks and turkeys. There were dozens of acres of crops, ranging in everything from wheat, oats, lettuce, cucumbers, and other grains and vegetables. Trees of peaches, apples, lemons and pears were perfectly lined up.

"We are completely self-reliant. We have over five dozen wells, a water purification system for ocean water, and each building has a solar panel on the roof. Including the apartments."

"May I ask how many people you have here?" Aaron asked the General.

"We have over two hundred people. Mostly military, some civilians. We have some young families too. Children here attend school, and we are always on the lookout for teachers and day care providers. Both men and women receive Military training, we have a fully stocked and functional hospital, commissary and arsenal. We sit at the crossing of two large rivers, and have two vessels that go out once a week to supply seafood.  We have technicians who monitor radio frequencies for signs of life. This place is under constant surveillance. Every inch is covered and watched.”

"What about housing and vehicles?"

"We have Military apartments and houses. Vehicles are parked close to where our residents live, but since we have to mind our fuel we use electric and solar power golf carts like this one. We have tanks, helicopters, Humvees and open bed trucks. Bullets are produced on site.  Good luck to the people who try to do anything with us.  We’ve lived for years under constant protection.  My family is here.  My wife, two sons and five grandchildren."

“I’m afraid we don’t have much to offer in the way of supplies.  Maybe a dozen animals.  You can see why we need help.”  Abe added.

"That's fine. We cleaned out every hospital, trauma center and clinic within a two hundred mile radius. We went to those Costco stores and brought back three dozen tractor trailers full of everything. We have everything from diapers up to clothing for adults. Someone could join us and live their entire lives here.  We have a science lab that produces bar soap and cleaning products.  Our chemists also make medications.”

xxxxx

The grey sky, and the bitingly cold December air mimicked the mood. They looked around in horror at what remained of the peaceful neighborhood once had. Only one of the twenty houses remained…the Grimes home.

The bodies of the walkers far outnumbered the bodies of the community.  Daryl ushered the Greene sisters, their children, and the Ford children into their still standing house.

Spencer was dead.  So were Eric, Philip, Olivia, Ethan, Deanna, Lilly, Alice, Candie, Monika, and James.  

xxxxx

Hershel, Abe and Aaron looked hopeful, finally, for the future. They were the General's invited guests to lunch and ate like kings. They had filet mignon, lobster, fresh vegetables, and crème Brule for dessert, thanks to the professional chefs in the kitchen.

Within an hour a caravan was planned to including five Military trucks to carry their cache of supplies and weapons, medical equipment, household supplies and animals, as well as the population of Alexandria.

Collinson drove McMurphy and Hershel in the first truck, and John Porter led the second vehicle with Abe and Aaron. The other vehicles contained Major Dalton, Corporal Hicks, Private Hudson, Colonels Grant and Locke. Medical doctors John Carter and Douglas Ross went along, in order to ensure the people whom they brought back were healthy.

They were headed back to Alexandria.

xxxxx

The three men were dumbstruck when they came back and saw what was left of their home. Maggie and Beth ran into her father's arms, the father holding his girls and granddaughters tightly.  Aaron looked at the rubble of his home and asked about Eric, then collapsed from grief.

Abe yelled for his children, becoming more panic stricken by the minute.  Lori saw him start to run around the neighborhood and yelled for his name.  His children as well as most of the Grimes were with her.  He ran in and noticed the bullet holes in the ceiling.

“We were in the basement.”  She said, stoically.  “Rick wanted us to go there in the event of something happening.  They took Michonne and Andre.”

The two doctors from Fort Benning, Ross and Carter joined Pete to make sure everyone was healthy.  Ron and Sam ran to their father, whom he held the tightly.  Jessie and Andrea were standing on the porch of the lone structure, just watching.  He didn’t ask about their mother.  He didn’t care. 

The rain had picked up, a faint drizzle turning into a downpour as they made their way across what was left of their once thriving community. When Reg saw his wife and two sons were dead he immediately committed suicide in the driveway.

Rick bolted from his spot in the vehicle to his home and bounded up the steps in one leap.  He had to push others aside to get to Lori, who collapsed in his arms.  He frantically looked around the home, mentally counting his children.  Two large pieces to the puzzle were missing.

Lori felt his hands on her, turning her around and checking for wounds.

“I’m alright.  They took her.  They took Michonne and Andre.”

xxxxx

Everything was gone. 

Noah and Glenn starting digging graves for their friends, while Eugene and Abe stacked the bodies of the dead invaders and re-killed walkers into a pile for burning.  Daryl was combing the neighborhood, looking for hidden walkers or stray attacker.  He ripped off the black ski mask of one of the attackers and saw a “W” carved into his forehead.

xxxxx

The minivan pulled over to the side of the road and stripped Michonne of her weapons.  For further humiliation, they took the shoes and socks of the woman and her son before kicking them out.

They had no idea where they were, no shelter was in sight, the rain had turned to sleet, and they were terrified.


	16. No Way Out

The sleet was pelting the roof of the overcrowded house.  The ever present stench of burnt wood from the multiple fires, permeated the building, and the patience was wearing thin of the residents.

Marines Hicks, Hudson, Collinson and Porter were standing guard outside, each in a different corner of the wrap-around house.

Aaron was doing his best to describe the situation to everyone. 

“A few years ago we ran into another group that called itself The Saviors.  We had to give them whatever they wanted or they’d kill us.  Deanna was in charge of everything and didn’t want everyone to know.  It was extortion. We gave them what they wanted and they didn’t kill us.  Nobody else knew.  Just Deanna, Reg, me and Shane.  We have a trade deal going with the Hilltop, a place about an hour away.  They have crops we don’t, and we have animals they don’t.  It was all done in secret.  Then the Saviors came.  They do the same thing to the Hilltop.  Negan…that’s the leader, takes whatever he wants.  He took some of our women and some women from the other place.  They’ve never done this before, though.”

“What does he do with the women?”   Rick asked.

“Anything he wants.”  Aaron responded, keeping his gaze locked on the floor.

Rick had tears in his eyes when he looked at Lori.  She broke the eye contact and held Catherine, who was starting to squirm.

General McMurphy stated that two of the five trucks that were driven over will leave in one hour, taking the women and children, along with any tangible goods back to the base.

Andrea, who never passed up the opportunity to shut up, resented the “women and children first bullshit” and told the five star general that she had experience on the road and take care of the group just as well as the men can.

“Okay, ma’am.  Go check the tire pressure and fluids in all the vehicles.  Then climb to the roof and repair the solar panel so this house will have heat for the night.”

The room fell silent as most of the people there looked at the troublesome blonde.

“But…it’s really cold outside.  And I don’t have another jacket.”  She whined.

The highly decorated officer just stated at the woman, who eventually slinked off to the other room.

“As I said.  We have several people here.  Take what you need…the trucks are empty, and we can strip this house bare.  Load up the truck and we leave in one hour.  Women and children will go to the base, and we’ll send back more muscle.  We’ll get your friend and her boy and we’ll go to the Hilltop place and rescue the people there.”

xxxxx

They had one vehicle left, which was the one Rick had taken to the mall.  Rick worked with several of the Marines to set a plan in place.

In less than an hour, the entire house was stripped.  The General said that all the homes are furnished, so Lori took the sheets and pillows from the beds, towels, and all the clothes.  She took her backpack, her photo albums, and reached under the bed to retrieve the surprise they had for Rick.  She couldn’t bring herself to look at the pictures…she believed she will see Michonne and Andre again.

The pain in Rick’s eyes was unbearable.  He was never so terrified.  He lost his family once, and now he lost one half of the larger family he loved.

The plan sounded simple.  Hershel would go back to the base with Beth and Maggie, along with Lori, Carl, the Grimes and the Ford children with Hicks and Hudson and get proper checkups before getting settled into housing.  Abe, Aaron, Tobin, Carter, McMurphy, Glenn, Daryl, Dalton, and Porter would stay and fight.

Doctors Ross and Anderson would also stay to help those who may need it.

xxxxx

Carl sat next to his siblings, draping a blanket around them while holding Catherine in his arms.  He watched as his parents were standing face to face, softly talking before giving each other a long kiss.

“We’ll be fine, baby.  We’ll be at a Military base.”  Lori said, softly.

“I lost you once.  I can’t lose you again.”  Rick said, his eyes overflowing with tears.

“We’ll be fine.  He said it’ll be a few days.  We’ve done five years, we can do a few days.  I don’t want to leave without you, but we’ll be safe.  You will be too.”

She cupped his face with her hands and pulled him closer, kissing him twice on the lips before embracing him tightly.

xxxxx

The station wagon lumbered down the road.  The empty car seats in the back showed that the driver was a good family man.  He saw the two figures walking by the side of the road.  They were huddled together for warmth and looked terrified.

He slowed down, and got out with his hands raised, one hand raised as the other held a SpongeBob blanket which he handed to Michonne.  She thanked him and wrapped it around Andre. 

“You’ll freeze to death in this weather.  Ma’am, my wife and kids live down the road.  You look like you could use some help.”  He held his hands up to show that he’s not threatening and added “we have a sanctuary.  We’re the real deal.  No tricks, I promise.”

Michonne was desperate.  Terrified for Andre and herself, she thought about her family back at Alexandria.  Rick, Lori and the kids.  Her baby, Catherine.  She needed to get back to them.

“We were taken from a neighborhood.”

“Fair enough.”  He replied.  “Tell me where it is and I’ll drive you back.  There’s nothing around for miles and it’ll be dark soon.  This sleet…we could be at the start of a blizzard.  I’m a family man...you can trust me.”

Michonne stood in place, thinking of her very limited options.

“Mom, I’m really cold.  Please.”

Her heart broke for her son, and she glanced at the old car and noticed the car seats in the back.

_He has kids._

She nodded and got into the passenger seat, Andre on her lap.

“What happened…where are your shoes?”  He asked.

A strong, familiar aroma hit her senses.  Coffee.  Hot coffee.  Her stomach immediately grumbled and her mind took her back to a previous life of luxury shopping, daily lattes and her million dollar condo.

“Ma’am?”

She snapped out of her trance and looked at the man, eventually saying “we were abducted and then kicked out.”

The man grimaced.

“That’s bad.  Sorry to hear that.  I haven’t touched this yet.”  He said as he offered his coffee to Michonne.  “It’s instant, the only thing we can still find these days, but it’s hot.  Name’s Simon, by the way.”

He turned up the heat when he noticed her hands were trembling.  “Michonne, and thanks again.”  She poured some into the attached cup and gave it to Andre.  The steam from the warm liquid rose from the cup, twirling around before dissipating.

“Drink up, peanut.  It’s gonna taste weird, but you need to warm up.”

Andre winced at the taste, but was so hungry he eventually drank the concoction in a few sips.  Michonne drank right from the old style thermos, finishing off the delicious drink in less than a minute.  After placing the empty container in the cup holder, she said “thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome.”  He smiled warmly.

A few minutes and miles down the road, she thought she heard the door lock engage when the man asked, “Michonne, you prosecuted pimps and date rapists, before, right?”

She looked at him and furrowed her brow, “how’d you know that?”

Ignoring her question, he continued, “See, the way of gaining trust of a pimp is for someone to be vulnerable, like some faced with being homeless or right off the bus in a new city.  Than the guy swoops in and saves you.  You’ve heard of that, right?”

“Let us out.”  She demanded, trying to open the door.  Her hand began to feel heavy as she tried the old latch.

“And you had to hear about Georgia Home Boy.  GHB.  The date rape drug.  It works fast and whoever drink it has no control over what’s done to ‘em.”

“What?”  She asked, her voice wavering, sounding foreign to her own ears.

“What’d you think was in the drink I just gave you?”


	17. Falling apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning - racial slur ahead.

He never saw it coming.  No matter how powerful he thought he was, a former gym teacher was no match for a decorated, highly trained former cop. 

It was quick…it had to be.  The piece of shit thought he was the president.  He had men standing guard outside his bedroom to keep him safe.  Or at least, to try to keep him safe.

Shane waited for his turn to stand guard.  He forgot the name of the other man, he didn’t really care, and quietly put him down with a chokehold and a knife to the temple before he could turn.

He was a heavy sleeper, and didn’t even wake up when the knife penetrate his skull.  The throes of death in which Shane saw the mighty powerful Negan made him laugh. 

“You made two mistakes, asshole.”  He seethed, his mouth inches away from the man whom he knew couldn’t hear him anymore, but he continued.  “First, thinking you can play this game.  Second, thinking you can play this game with me.  I’m your worst fucking nightmare.  Now, your empire belongs to me.”

xxxxx

Daryl and Abe walked around the former neighborhood, collecting all the weapons from the invaders.  They followed through with the plan McMurphy, Aaron and Rick set forward. 

The men looked around at the nearly empty house before dragging the bodies of murdered “W” men, evacuated the home, and lit it on fire before driving to the Hilltop.

“We had a plan in place.  If anything happened to Alexandria, we’d move to the Hilltop.  If anything happened here, the people would move to the safe zone.”  Aaron stated, glumly.  He was lost without Eric.

Rick looked around at the new surroundings.  A large, red brick mansion was surrounded by single wide trailers.  Some of the residents hid inside, Rick noticed the eyes peering out from the window blinds.  They had one well and just a few animals.

The officer looked at the General and asked what to do.

xxxxx

Michonne’s eyes snapped open. She was in the same cold, dark room that was her prison for the past few days, weeks…she didn’t know.  She tried to tell herself it wasn’t happening.  She screamed for help and for her son.  Tears streamed from her eyes, and she yelled for help until her throat was raw.

Slowly the darkness let go of her vision, allowing her to see she was completely naked. Her wrists were bound, stretching her arms out to her side.  The harsh rope etching deeply into her already bruised flesh. Her back was raw and wet feeling, and her side ached with bruised and battered ribs.  She could feel the warm liquid rolling down her back.  Maybe it was water…she knew it was blood.

Her other wounds and sores were minimal, mostly what was expected after the abuse she had been made to suffer. Not wanting to think about that, she lifted her head timidly to take stock of her surroundings.  She was chained to the floor, her legs and arms spread apart.  She heard the door slam shut, and knew what was about to happen.  She tried to mentally take herself out of the situation…her mind locked into happier times…Andre’s birth, falling in love with Rick, and finding a surprise, raw, and passionate love with Lori.

She could smell the men’s breath and felt not just one, but two pairs of hands on her.  She braced herself for the ultimate humiliation when she was sandwiched between the two.  She flinched at first, doing everything not to scream.  She didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of being hurt.  She hoped that if she did what they wanted they’d let her be with her boy.

Michonne's eyes closed once more, the voices finally fading to silence, the pain releasing her to sleep.

xxxxx

Aaron introduced the men to Jesus, who was a scout for strong people to bring back to the community

When they entered the mansion they were met by the man who runs the Hilltop. 

“Everyone, this is Gregory.  He keeps the trains running on time around here.”  Jesus said softly.

“I'm the boss.”  He said with a smirk.

“Well, I'm Rick.”

“We have a community.  Why don't y'all go get cleaned up, hmm?”

“We're fine.”

He brushed off Rick’s declaration and added, “Jesus will show you where you can get washed up.  Then come back down here when you're ready.  It's hard to keep this place clean.”

Rick didn’t move, determined to talk to the man.  He needed some information…any information about Michonne and Andre.  He described the attack on Alexandria. 

“Everything’s gone?”  He asked, incredulous.

Rick simply nodded before asking “Who’s Negan?  Aaron told me about Negan, the Wolves, and the Saviors.  Where are they?”

xxxxx

Collinson pulled up to the base’s hospital, and explained to the women that they need to undergo physicals before being added to the base’s population. 

The dozens of doctors worked quickly and examined the women and children, gently taking a blood sample from everyone. 

Patricia Hicks, the wife of Corporal Dwayne Hicks, escorted the Greene sisters, along with Lori, the Anderson family and Andrea, along with all the children to their living quarters. 

She drove the small bus from the hospital to the row of townhomes, and explained, “We’re a military family here.  We share what we need.  You’ll notice that we have hygiene products and general cleaning stuff.  Lori, Beth and Maggie…you each have a crib in your home, set in the master bedroom.  When you’re done you’ll be asked to give them to another family.  We have a chemistry lab and made our own laundry detergent, shampoo and bars of soap.  I know it’s getting late, so you’ll be taken on the full tour tomorrow.  Each home has a fridge and pantry full of food and fresh sheets on the beds.  We have one building that just for clothing.  I don’t know what you have in your suitcases, but you’ll never want for anything.”

The bus stopped in front of a line of homes and Patricia helped carry a few personal items inside and helped with the children.

Hershel and the Greene sisters were led into one home which was connected to what will be the Grimes home.

Patricia told the Greenes she’ll be there in just a moment, after she helped Lori with all the children. 

The sweet woman with the strawberry blonde hair helped with Michael, Kelly and Katie, Shannon, Julia and Catherine.  Carl was on his own and looked around for a room for himself.  In the four bedroom home he picked the room which had walls painted sky blue, claiming the two twin beds for himself and Michael.

Lori explained the entire Rick and Michonne situation to Patricia, explaining Julia and Catherine as hers, not by blood but by bond, as the two women worked together to bathe the four toddlers and one infant.  Carl took his own shower, and then helped bathe Michael.

The younger Grimes took the overflowing laundry hamper to the room off the kitchen and started to fill the machine while his mother made a dinner of chicken stir fry with onion and green pepper.

Without being asked, Patricia told Lori that she’s safe.  They can lock the doors and claim this as their home. 

“Just…everything that’s happened…” the brunette beauty said softly, as tears formed in her eyes.

“I know.  But you’re safe here.  I have four kids of my own.  We haven’t been outside the gates in years, but it’s alright.  We’re safe.”

When Mrs. Hicks made sure that Mrs. Grimes was settled, she left, locking the door behind her before going to the Greenes.

Carl helped his mother with the Catherine, Julia and Shannon, the three girls sharing one room, Katie and Kelly took the third room, just across the hallway from the master bedroom.  She tried to comfort a cranky Catherine, doing what she could to soothe her stepdaughter.  She was startled by a knock on the door, but smiled when she saw Patricia, dropping off a case of formula and ready to use bottles.

After all the children were asleep and the house was blanketed in darkness, save for a soft lamp in the living room, Lori sat by herself.  Again, she was ripped from her home and placed in a different place.  It was different this time.  She wasn’t a punching bag.  She wasn’t living under the constant threat of being punished by rape or a beating.  Yet she was alone.  There were two great loves of her life.  Rick, who grabbed onto her soul, and Michonne, a love she never expected, held her heart in the palm of her hand.  She didn’t know what happened to them. 

She wanted nothing more than to wake up and discover all this was a terrible nightmare. It wasn’t, and she knew it because it hurt too much to be anything but real. 

Lori went to the master bedroom and looked for clothes. She found some that fit, a tee shirt, sweat pants, and a pair of socks. She looked at herself in the mirror, and didn't recognize who she was. Her face was puffy, eyes red and swollen, and her skin ashen. She had dark circles under her eyes.

She lowered her head and began to cry.

xxxxx

Michonne felt the bone-deep ache penetrate her arms.  Her hands were numb.  She begged to be released.  Anything that could have been done to her was done ten times over.  She wondered how long the human body could sustain being shackled the way she was.  She was tired from lack of sleep, and the constant blaring of some annoying song had given her a headache.

She begged to see her son, but the masked man laughed. 

Her mind took her back to the weeks she spent with Rick and Lori, an unconventional family, but a family that worked for them.  Her loves…it was easier to think on these things, to focus on the device she was chained to, than to let herself dwell on the pain that was coming next. And pain was coming. Strong and bone-breaking and spirit crushing and…

The man swung the whip again, tearing at her naked back.  She heard the laughs.

“Your name is Toby.”   Someone teased.

More laughter.  Fresh tears slipped past her closed eyelids, mingling with the blood and sweat and grime soiling her cheeks. 

She smelled the cigarette smoke, and steadied herself for the pain.  She opened her eyes, and studied the face before her. A faint memory grabbed onto her and made her heart drop.  It was Shane. 

He pulled up a chair and sat down in front of her.  The way he looked at her made her skin crawl.

After wordlessly staring at her naked body for a few minutes, he said aloud, “I don’t get it.  I’ve known Rick since we were kids.  He’d never even look at a jungle bunny.  Did you think you moved up on the social ladder?”  He chuckled, “You’re never be anything more than a dirty nigger.  Rick probably got with you ‘cuz he was desperate.  Him and that skinny bitch…I got her good.  Just like I got you.  And we’re just beginning.  You think I’m crazy?  Probably.  But I’m the kind of crazy that will destroy you.  You’ll never be the same.  The biggest mistake you ever made was to piss me off.  You have no idea what I can do to you.  Your boy…he’s in the other room and asking for his mama.  You’ll never see him again.”

Shane stood up and kicked the chair out of the way before removing a switchblade from his pocket.  He stood face to face with the captive woman, his eyes burrowing into hers. 

“I want you to remember me.  I want my face to haunt your dreams.”

She bit her lip as she felt the tip of the tobacco stick burn her flesh.  She heard the man behind her prepare the whip again, and tried to close her eyes. 

“No, no, no,” Shane chided, again hitting her with a switch. Her body jerked between the chains, a gasp escaping her clenched teeth, that sweet, senseless void slipping from her grasp. “We’re not done yet.”  She saw Shane unbuckle his pants and step forward.

Oh God it hurt… she moaned to herself. She had felt the sharp pain. She was dry, but they didn’t care. Her body trembled with the pain, with the force, with anger. She was trying to move away, the struggle only managed in making them laugh harder. Hot, bitter tears spilled down her cheeks, dripping off her chin, falling onto her naked breasts.

With Shane still inside of her she felt a final crack, her body wrenched, and her mind slipped away into the peaceful void.


	18. See What I can do to You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Notes - racist language, rape, violence, character death

The days ticked by. Michonne was desperate to see her son, a drink of water, food, and some clothes to end the humiliation of being chained and naked. She was delirious from lack of sleep. The dark circles of exhaustion marked her face.

Her mind told her to wiggle her fingers to keep the circulation going. She didn't want to admit she was broken. She gagged at the stench of the urine and feces that lay under her. Every so often someone, she thought the name was fat Joey, would turn on the water hose in an attempt to clean her. It only made the gaping wounds in her back burn in agony. He, or whoever else it would be, would always approach her from behind and she'd brace herself for the pain. After a few minutes it would be over, and the door would slam shut. She didn't know who it was, but she was always left in a soaked, shivering mess.

Angry tears stung her cheeks. Even animals aren't treated like this. She couldn't feel her hands. Her mouth was parched, her lips chapped. The once strong, fiercely independent woman was reduced to a forgotten victim of a madman. She didn't realize that her nightmare had just begun.

xxxxx

She didn't know if it was day or night, how long it was since she was taken from her home and her family, and she was heartbroken, made worse by every second that went by, when she couldn't see her son.

Then the day came. The day she will never forget, no matter how hard she tried. She heard the familiar footsteps and braced herself for HIM.

Shane brought over his chair and sat in front of her, just staring at her naked body. She never knew that someone could hate a person as much as she detests that man. She was trembling, which made him chuckle.

"How do you get a nigger out of a tree? Cut the rope." She could smell the alcohol drifting across the space between them. The former cop was almost doubled over in laughter.

"I never liked working with your kind. All this bullshit with white cops killin' black teens. Natural selection. Gotta thin the herd. Dwayne Everett. A fellow cop. He was easy to take down. Everyone was payin' attention to Rick nobody thought twice. See, I planned the entire thing. Few buddies of mine owed me a favor. They were too coked out to know they'd get killed. Did me a favor, though. Lookin' at you now…what the fuck was Rick thinking? You look diseased. Worst thing we ever did was to bring your kind to the states. You belong in the jungle."

She mumbled something which Shane couldn't hear. He stood up and angrily kicked the chair away. He stumbled toward her, grabbed her by the throat, and seethed, "what the fuck did you say to me?"

Michonne surprised herself when she started to chuckle.

"The fuck you laughing at?" He yelled.

"I'm laughing because I'm thinking of what I'm gonna do to you. It scares me. The hatred I have for you…for what you did to Rick, Lori, your own daughters…you're sick. But know this…I'm gonna kill you. Not today, not tomorrow, but before I take my last breath, I'm gonna kill you."

Shane paused before looking deeply into her eyes. His right hand came up quickly and connected with her face. Blood started dripping from her nose and her vision blurred.

"Awww...you're so cute when you try to be angry."

She gasped when he started to unzip his pants. "I like empty threats. Especially when they come from someone who is so broken. You have nothing. You are nothing. The darker the berry the dumber the bitch. Before Rick saved you I'll bet you were the typical single black mother. Angry, violent, always looking for dick. I have no respect for you. Where are you lace fronts?" He chuckled, his teasing persistent. "Don't got no bundles? You know how many times I arrested your kind over stupid shit? Know how many times I'd have to break up a fight 'cuz someone didn't like what someone else said? Your kind just can't grow up. Y'all just can't let shit go."

Michonne tried to turn her head and move her body, but his grip on her waist was too rough. She bit her lip to prevent herself from screaming when he entered her roughly.

"Nobody's left. They're all gone. One shot to the head for Lori, and I took down each one of those little shits myself. Those half-breeds you call kids…gone."

She stifled a sob as she felt him climax. He grinned and licked the side of her face before zipping his pants.

"There's all gone. And you will be too. I've got a sweet surprise for you." He teased, then added "you just stay right there."

xxxxx

It was days, Rick estimated since he was away from his entire family. Reinforcements from McNair came and settled in, while a large truck took the women and children of the Hilltop to the Military base. They were left with minimal food, and the constant presence of the field warriors eased the anxiety of a sudden attack. Rick wanted to get Michonne and Andre, kill the man named Negan, and go home to Lori and his children.

McMurphy confirmed Lori and the kids were safe. He hoped that would ease his anxiety, but every night he faced an empty bed. It physically hurt him when he thought about Michonne and Andre…not knowing was the worst feeling. He looked at his left hand, a simple gold band joined with a silver ring.

He knew he was lucky. He was happy to have found love again and given a second chance at fatherhood. Andre was his son, blood or not. But just months ago, on the long, quiet nights when he held Julia with a very pregnant Michonne next to him, his mind was always on Lori and Carl.

When he found his family again he felt like his world was back, and when Michonne wanted him to encourage Lori to be accepted into their marriage he felt complete. The two greatest loves of his life had joined together. The children, all of them, weren't "Lori's" or "Michonne's," they were _theirs_.

xxxxx

The metal door opened quickly, jolting Michonne out of a very light sleep. She prepared herself for another humiliating round of beating or rape. She heard a familiar voice, a small cry, and knew it was her son. She was still chained, her wrists and ankles bound at an inhuman angle. Trying to turn her head to see how Andre was she was met by a gush of cold water, drenching her ripped skin.

Muffled cries were dwarfed by the heavy footsteps of the man she despised. She didn't want him to have the memory of seeing her like this.

_Please God…_

Shane shoved Andre to the wet floor. Immediately he jumped up and ran to hug his mother, but was grabbed by the shirt collar and pulled back the boy, making him fall back onto the ground. She looked at her little boy and immediately started crying. The left side of his face was a mesh of scars and fresh burns.

"Shane. Please. Please. I'll do whatever you want." Michonne started shaking with sobs.

"Mom, what's going on? I wanna go home. I want dad. Can we go home?"

"What's your dad's name, kid?" Shane grabbed the child by his shirt and pulled him up, matching him face to face.

The small boy looked at the man who physically tortured him over the past few days. He voice cracked as he whispered, "Rick."

Shane's booming laughter echoed throughout the small room.

"How old are you?"

Tears raced down his cheeks as he sobbed out "almost eight."

"Almost eight. Now I know you're not Rick's kid…right? Eight years ago he was fucking Snow White. Lemme guess, your daddy sold crack and went to prison, right?"

Michonne jumped in, wanting to take whatever burden off her son's shoulder.

"Shane, please. Rick adopted Andre. It was after the world ended. Please, let my boy go." She looked at her son, who was still sitting on the floor, rubbing the back of his head.

"And you have other kids?" He sneered.

Michonne nodded her head.

"Figures. Different kids, different baby daddies. So typical with you people."

Shane's eyes lit up as he saw someone walking in his direction. "Thanks, Simon." He said with a smile.

The mustached man, who tricked the helpless woman and child, laughed at Michonne. The plan was falling into place.

The aroma of cooked meat wafted over to Michonne, making her stomach growl. She didn't remember how long ago it was that she had anything to eat.

"Calm down, darky. This is for Andre first. You'll get your turn."

He scooped out a large spoonful of what looked like hamburg and shoved it into the boy's mouth. Andre's face twisted in disgust, and Shane immediately covered the boy's mouth, forcing him to swallow the unknown substance.

"Keep going." Shane scolded, shoveling in five more heaping spoonfuls before he showed Michonne the empty bowl. "Musta been hungry."

Shane gently placed the bowl on the floor and reached for the chair. He sat back, with his hands behind his head, fingers entwined, and just watched the child.

"This should be a good show."

Andre tried to stand up and go to his mother, but his legs weren't strong enough to hold him. His head slumped forward and he started drooling profusely. Michonne screamed and begged for help.

The boy started shaking before he sat bolt upright. After he coughed a few times his shirt was covered with a mass of blood-streaked vomit. His belly protruded, his hair stood out from his scalp, and his eyes bulged. He reached for his mother, but wasn't able to say anything.

"Peanut, look at me honey!" Michonne pleaded.

Shane chuckled. "Tainted meat. That shit was ground up walkers."

His head cracked up and his bulging eyes stared at the ceiling for a second or two before his head snapped forward again. The gurgling sounds started and he vomited a large clump of blood. It landed on the floor with a splat. He lost control of his body and the back of his head slammed into the cement floor. Blood poured out of the wound on his scalp.

"Please…Peanut, please" Shane chuckled as he mocked her worried tone. "Maybe a little rat poison too."

Another violent convulsion took hold of the boy's body, and after two short, panicked gasps, he became limp.

Michonne's scream resonated throughout the room and building. Shane chuckled, and clapped his hand together.

"Shit, that was AWESOME!"

"My boy…my boy. Please."

"Oh yeah, you reminded me. Can't let these things turn. Especially the brown ones. They'll steal your shit.

Her body shook violently with heavy sobs and she screamed "no" when Shane reached to a nearby table and picked up a hatchet.

 


	19. Brown Sugar

Michonne didn't care anymore. She watched as Andre died in front of her. Shane tortured her boy, and forced Simon to use the belt to whip her back when she closed her eyes. With every swing of the hatchet, her body shook with sobs. Days passed, and she was desperate for sleep. Shane bought an old CD player in the room and put The Rolling Stones' “Brown Sugar” on a twenty-four hour loop.

She lost track of time. Her arms and legs were numb. The blood streamed down her arms from the deep gouges in her skin. The metal chains were unrelenting and unforgiving.

*****

_Gold coast slave ship bound for cotton fields . Sold in a market down in New Orleans . Scarred old slaver knows he's doing alright . Hear him whip the women just around midnight_

_*****_

For the first time in years, she started to pray. Not for salvation, but for death. He told her everyone was gone. She wanted to be with her children. She missed the feeling of being lost in Rick's arms and in Lori's kiss. Her ears were burning, her head was aching, and she was constantly nauseous.

*****

_Drums beating, cold English blood runs hot. Lady of the house wonderin' where it's gonna stop.  House boy knows that he's doing alright. You should a heard him just around midnight._

_*****_

Michonne closed her eyes and started to rub her wrists into the metal ring. She welcomed the pain...it reminded her that she was still alive and she was in control of her own demise. She just had to stay conscious enough to withstand the pain. Just a little bit longer until she hit the artery, and she'd be with her family.

When she heard the door creak open she tried to cut faster. She'll decide when she dies. Not Shane.

She heard the hose start, and the strong gush of water burned her back. The force felt as though her skin was tearing. Her stomach lurched when she felt her his breath on her neck, and the inevitable force of his penetration and eventual release. Her ears were still ringing when he flipped the music off.

“Those wounds on your back look real bad. Some are still bleedin. Better get those looked at.” he chuckled.

She just glared at him as he calmly sat on his chair, positioning himself right in front of her.

“What'd you do before he world went to shit?”

Her parched throat and chapped lips only allowed a hoarse whisper to croak out something the hot-tempered man couldn't hear.

He immediately jumped up an wrapped his hand around her throat.

“I asked you a question, bitch.”

The tears were immediate when she whispered, “a lawyer.”

“A lawyer? That what you said? You thirsty?”

She was scared of what concoction he'd feed her but she nodded “yes.”

“You shouldda said somethin.” He said, before picking up the hose and aiming it at her mouth. “Drink up, sista.”

She tried to wriggle away as the full force of the water blasted her face. She felt as though she was drowning. After a few minutes, he finally turned it off.

She coughed and desperately tried to catch her breath. Shane watched and smiled when he saw her struggle, the sat down again.

“So, a lawyer. Probably had a nice apartment, nice car, all that shit. But you had a kid. Ain't no difference between you and a ghetto rat. Tell me somethin...why don't your kind believe in marriage?”

“I married Rick.” she responded softly.

“No, no...that ain't a marriage. Bassett, that piece of shit I worked with. Divorced three times. He had a side chick with each one. He had three rats with three different chicks. Those chicks...ratchet. Just, disgusting. Bassett was just a number for them. All had different 'baby daddy.' All just ghetto trash. Just wanna know. Never seen a nigger couple married. It's like you people are born thinkin' as long as you're happy with someone else, it's all good.” He mocked.

“Please let me go.”

“No. See, what I wanna know is why your kind don't do things normal. All that ebonics shit, cryin racism over nothin. And your names...Leshaniqua LaQuanda, Ayesha. What's wrong with a name like Susan. That's a woman's name.”

She coughed a few times and angrily seethed, “didn't you rape Lori when she was married to Rick?”

The sound of the slap echoed throughout the room.

“You don't talk back to me. Ever. You get it? Bitch? I own you. I own the air you breathe. Your life is in my hands. You don't ever have an attitude with me. I can ruin you so bad.”

Michonne gasped for breath after he removed his hand from her throat before he kicked over the chair, flipped the music back on and stomped up the steps. She stared at the ceiling, praying he'd leave her alone.

*****

_I bet your mama was a tent show queen. And all here boyfriends were sweet sixteen. I'm no schoolboy but I know what I like. You shoulda heard me just around midnight. Brown sugar how come you taste so good. Brown sugar just like a young girl should...Yeah, yeah, yeah, woo, Just like a... Just like a black girl should._

 


	20. Where Are You?

Rick was becoming increasingly frustrated at Gregory’s apparent lack of concern for Negan’s threat.  Over a dozen Military members, from different branches, laid in wait in the stripped Barrington house. 

_They saw a man approach and Gregory asked, "Nathan, what happened to everybody else? Where's Tim and Marsha?"_

_"They're dead."_

_"Negan?"_

_"Long story, but yeah"_

_"We had a deal."_

_"He said it wasn't enough. Was the drop light?"_

_"No." Gregory said, defensively._

_"They still have Craig. They said they'd keep him alive, return him to us, if I deliver a message to you."_

_"So, tell me." Gregory said._

_"I'm sorry." The man said, as he stepped forward and stabbed Gregory in the gut._

_Rick lunged forward and put the man in a chokehold. "Get off of me! I had to" He grunted. "Anybody who tries to stop me is killing my brother!" Another man leapt toward Rick and was stopped by Ty. The man fell out of Rick's arm and hit his head on the ground._

_"Everyone, this is over!" Jesus yelled, putting his arms out to stop the fighting. "It's over. Ethan was our friend, but let's not pretend he was anything more than a coward who attacked us. He did this. And these people stopped him."_

_"What can I do?" Rick asked, after the dust settled._

_"Put the gun away." Begged Jesus. "You've done enough. You need to know that things aren't as simple as they might seem. Just give me some time."_

_“I don’t have any more time!”  Rick hissed.  “My wife and my son are out there.  WHERE are they? Where is Negan's hideout?" he demanded.”_

*****

The days passed agonizingly slowy. 

On a quiet day the Barringon house and land was buzzing with activity.  Chatter erupted over the shoulder microphones.  Some of the Military members, hidden in the trees that surrounded the old land, noticed a white delivery truck lumbered down the dirt road.

A tall, mustached man hopped out of the passenger side of the cab and started walking to the home

“Simon.  Good to see you.”  Gregory sneered,as he shook hands with the man he despisted.

“You got a nice place.  Tall walls.  Bet people in here probably forget what the corpses look like.  Sorry about what happened.  Nathan did wrong by you.”

Gregory shrugged and replied, “It’s a shame like that had to happen, you know? Please, tell Negan I understand the benefits in, crossing the aisle.”

Simon looked around the room and said softly, “Negan’s dead.  His replacement killed him.  He’s…he’s got bigger balls.  We had this tip on a community near the shore.  They had a shit ton of guns.  He lined up all the men.  Even the boys, and shot ‘em all.  He killed the older chicks and took the young broads for himself.  The little girls…he left them there.  Took all the guns, killed the adults and left ‘em there.  Just little girls, probably no older than ten.”

A glimmer of hope shone in Gregory’s mind.

“If this new guy…we could make a deal…”

Simon put up his hand, silencing the man and not wanting to hear another word.

“I’m not crossing Shane.”

From across the hallway Rick had to be physically restrained when he heard the name of his former friend crackle through rigged rasio under Gregory’s desk.

“Anyway, anything else you want me to know?”

“No.” answered quickly.

“Any hitches in the giddyup I should be aware of?  Gregory?”

“Actually, there is.”

The men from the sanctuary followed the leader of the Hilltop to a hallway closet.  When he opened it quickly, there was no sign of Rick, Daryl or any of the military men.

“Are you serious?”  Simon asked, his face lit up when he saw the box of booze.

“Yeah….this is, uh…”

“Scotch.”

“Well, not just…”

I hate the stuff.  Tastes like, um, ashtrays and window cleaner.  I'm a gin man.  But this does look like it could harden a connoisseur.”  He unscrewed the top and took a few sips before grimacing.  “Wow.  
Tastes like shit.  But Shane’ll love this.”  


*****

After Simon ordered Jesus to place the bottles of scotch into the back of the truck, the thin, lithe man noticed, but didn’t say anything, when he saw the faces of Rick, Dwayne Hicks, Tim Hudson, John Porter and Hugh Collingson.

He shut the back and watched as the truck rattled down the road.

*****

It was the first full morning they spent at the Military base.  Lori woke up alone, and on her mind, was as always, Rick and Michonne.  She longed to be safe in her husband’s arms, where all her trouble seemed to melt away. 

She never imagined that she’d find a different sort of love with not just another person but also a woman.  In just the few days they spent together, she felt as though she and Michonne shared a one-of-a lifetime kind of romance.

As she used the restroom and pulled on a warm bathrobe she answered the nagging voice in the back of her mind.  She thought about Rick being in the arms of almost two dozen Military members.  He could take care of himself, but they’re be no place safer than being surrounded by combat trained warriors.

She tried to calm her nerves by making breakfast for her large brood.  She made pancakes from scratch, scrambled eggs and bacon, along with fresh squeezed orange juice for the children and coffee, albeit instant, for herself.

She made a mental note to ask Patricia about winter clothes when she noticed the almost foot of newly fallen snow, and wanted the children to have the traditional childhood experience of building a fort, snowman and the inevitable snowball fight.  

*****

Her attention was diverted to the staircase when she heard Carl try to wrangle Michael and his sisters with baby Catherine in his arms.

She smiled and got to her knees, embracing her children as they descended upon her. 

“I already changed her diaper.”  Carl smiled, as he handed his months old half-sister to his mother.

“Thanks buddy.”  She held her step-daughter and as she warmed a bottle from the fridge.  Lori’s eyes scanned the baby’s face, and smiled when she saw Rick’s eyes and Michonne’s dimples.

_I’ll take care of you.  No matter what.  You’ll never be alone.  I promise._

_*****_

_Rick opened the door to the room in which Michonne was held captive.  He walked in and pointed to the wall which contained the base of the old metal chain.  A man she didn’t recognize took Shane’s hatchet and with one swipe freed her arm._

_She leapt into Rick’s arms and didn’t flinch when he rubbed her back._

_“I’ve gotta surprise for you!”  He said, his smile lighting up the room._

_Rick cast his gaze behind her and waved his fingers, ushering a two-year-old Andre, who ran over to him, squealing “dada!”_

_She furrowed her brow, and shook her head in disbelief._

_“I…. I…I…saw him die.  My boy.”_

_When she looked at her husband his smile was gone, replaced by a tear-filled look into her eyes._

_“Just hold on, baby.  Just a little longer.  I’m doing the best I can.”_

In the cold, dank room Michonne was sweating.  The days of minimal sleep, lack of food and water, and blood loss from the constant beatings was causing her to mentally slip away.  Her arms were numb.  She couldn’t tell if her plan to dig the chain into her wrist was working.  Her last visit from Shane, which may have been two hours ago or two days ago, left her with a broken nose and a few teeth on the ground. 

He was so pleased with himself when he had something “just for her.”  After dehumanizing her once more and then whipping her back to the point of his exhaustion, he took a swig of whisky and gave her a crooked smile.  She recognized the container of salt when he pulled it out of the white bag.

“Just a little something to wake you up.  In case you forgot what I can do to you.”

He grabbed at her cheeks, forcing her to give him her full attention.

“Not gonna lie.  This is gonna hurt.  Look at it this way…that little bastard kid of yours suffered more.”

She steadied herself when he walked out of her line of vision.  He used time to make her wait and think about the pain.  His fingers worked slowly to open the full container of salt, teasing her the entire time.

“I thought it was the shit.  Seeing him die like that?  Better than anything I ever did.  I’d work on missing kid cases.  I’d care when the kid was white.  But when the kid was a nigglet, I knew people.  We’d use a big old factory like this one.  Easy to clean up.  I found the rat poison was the best kind to use.  We’d try the other shit…make ‘em drink bleach, shove a firecracker up their ass and watch as their body blew up or just sometimes pour gasoline on ‘em and watch ‘em burn.  Hell, I’d take the nigglets from the playground.”  He chuckled at the memory. The canister open, waiting to be poured.  “Who wouldn’t trust a cop?  Ain’t that the shit you teach ‘em?  When in trouble look for a cop?  Then what thanks do we get?  Fry ‘em like bacon.  This is because of that.  This is your fault.”

She heard his arm raise and tried to hold in the scream that wanted to leap from her mouth.  She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing her suffer.  She wasn’t sure if she curled her toes…she couldn’t feel them anymore. 

“Aww…that don’t hurt?  Thought it would.  Supposed to.”  He teased.  “Well, let’s make it hurt.”

Her eyes widened when she watched him pick up a can of motor oil and a lighter. 


	21. I couldn't get to you

The cold rain dwindled to a mist as the truck pulled up to the factory.  It squealed to a stop, and in the rear Rick and the three Marines stood and aimed their weapons.

The former sheriff cringed when he heard _his_ voice.  The voice he’d talk to during the long shifts, the voice that whispered “this is gonna be good” when the two watched Lori walk down the aisle, and the voice that left him to die with a simple “see ya,” in a hospital that soon fell into a war zone.

“Okay, boys, let's get this haul unloaded and inside.  I want to get back in there and unload a little myself.”

“Shane, I need to talk to you about redirect.”

“What about the redirect?”

“It got screwed up.  We're on it now, but it's a mess out there.”

“And whose job was that?”  He sneered, moving closer to the man he called George.

Shane suddenly ducked and tried to find cover as Fat Joey opened the rear door and the never-ending sound of machine guns took out the dozen Saviors standing around.

Amid the pops and screams Shane raised his arms and yelled, “drop your weapons.” 

He stood and showed his empty hands, his sidearm safely tucked behind his back.

“Well…hello there.  Thought I took care of you a long time ago.  My buddies didn’t send you a good message?”  He sneered, as he stood eye to eye with Rick.

“Where is she?”

“Who?”  He teased.

“Where is she?”

“Don’t matter how many times you ask.  You want the little bastard too?”  Shane chuckled, as the tip of Rick’s AR-15 was inches away from his temple.

“Tell me where they are.  Right now.”

“What’s the magic word?”

Rick’s response was to use the butt of his gun to connect with Shane’s nose.  As the blood started to flow, Rick seethed, “This is gonna end one way.  I’m leaving with Michonne and Andre.  And all your shit.”

The other saviors who heard the commotion ran out of the factory and were promptly taken down by the Military.  Some survivors raised their arms in surrender but were still disposed of.  Heeding Rick’s advice of not trusting anybody, they mowed down everyone they saw.

Rick handcuffed Shane’s hands behind his back, removed the man’s gun, and demanded his former friend take him to Michonne.

*****

She knew she broke through the first few layers of skin.  The pain was blinding, but she wanted to be with Andre.  She wanted to be with Rick, Lori and their children.

Her leg ached.  The oil Shane poured stuck to her skin, and when he lit it ablaze she screamed in agony.  He smiled as he poured water over the wound, causing the fire to spread.  He used the bristles of a broom to beat out the flames. 

This was going to be the day.  She had the final say as to her destiny. 

She was sweating profusely, and hissed in pain as she felt the wound open and the thick yellow fluid flow down her arm.  She worked through the pain, grinding her bleeding wrist into the sharp edge of the chain.

She just wanted to close her eyes, just for a moment.  She was so tired.

*****

Michonne weakly opened her eyes as she heard the thump.  She was ready for another round of torture.  She welcomed it, and was ready for death.

She thought she heard Rick’s voice, and felt a tug on her wrists.  She could look through the haze and saw a figure pick up Shane’s hatchet.  A few whacks to the base of the chain finally released the pressure on her shoulders. 

“Oh Jesus…oh shit” She heard.  She knew it was another hallucination.

Her senses were almost suspended in animation.  The blood rushing down to her hands was painful and she was finally able to sit when the chains around her ankles were gone.

She felt a warm feeling envelope her torso and could recognize Rick’s scent.  There was a tightening sensation around her right bicep and she felt a sharp tug.  The last thing she heard before she passed out was the panicked sound of Rick’s voice begging her to wake up.

*****

Rick arrived back at the Hilltop with Michonne.  He raced inside, carrying her bridal style to the infirmary. 

“We can’t have that here.  If she turns she’ll kill us all.”  Gregory snapped.

Doctor Carson threw the man out of the room before he started work on Michonne.  He tried to hold his composure in front of Rick, but he had never seen such brutality inflicted on another human being.  She had countless deep gouges on her back, her right leg was at least a third degree burn from her waist to her ankle, and the skin and tissue on her right wrist was eroded, almost to the muscles.

“When was her last tetanus shot?”

A chill went down Rick’s spine when he didn’t know.

“Has it been within the past six years?”

“I dunno.  She okay?”

“No.  She’s septic.”

“Does she need a transfusion?”

“Do you know her type?”

“No.”  He whispered.  “Is it the wrist?”

“No.  It’s her entire bloodstream.”

Rick closed his eyes as the room started to spin, and asked “can we do anything?  Hicks said McNair has a hospital.”

“I’m sorry.  She’s in septic shock.  Not just the wrist, but her wounds weren’t cleaned.  Either that or what they used was dirty.”

He cleared his throat and tried to maintain his sanity.

“How long do you think she has?”

*****

Hicks radioed ahead and had Lori waiting at the outside gate with Julia and Catherine. 

When Julia finally saw her daddy, she squealed and raided her arms.  He hugged her tightly before taking Lori into his arms.  She could feel his tears dampen her shirt as he sobbed.

A grave was already dug for Michonne, and Rick helped place her inside.

The two stood together, hand in hand, staying silent over the grave of their lover.

*****

When they got back to the house Rick took a hot shower, trying to erase the mental image of Michonne chained to the wall, her arms and legs spread in an almost impossible position.  He put his hand over his face and cried when he thought about the condition of her back and how deep the wounds were and what she had to endure.

Although he was hungry he didn’t eat his chicken and dumplings, preferring to push the food around with his fork.

He helped with putting the kids to bed before joining Lori on the sofa.

*****

“You wanna talk about it?”  she asked.

He shook his head no, but reached over and grabbed her arm, holding her tightly.

“I’m sorry, baby.”

 


	22. Epilogue

The days ticked by.  Rick was getting emotionally stronger, and both Julia and Catherine had easily made the emotional transfer to Lori, calling her “mama.”

Rick would watch as his daughters with Michonne easily took to Lori, and how much she cared for them as if they were her own.

One night Lori woke up and found Rick sitting in the chair in the master bedroom, peaceful looking out into the night.

She swung her legs over and dropped her feet to the floor.  A momentary veil of depression fell upon her.  After sitting, naked, on the rumpled sheets she reached for her pair of Rick’s boxers and felt plucked her tee shirt from the floor.  The familiar scent of their sex lingered about the room.

After tip-toeing over to him she lightly brushed his naked shoulder with her fingers, getting his attention.

“Hey.”  She whispered.

“Hey.”

Her eyes followed his gaze outside, looking out to the safe darkness.  The moonlight reflected off the snow, illuminating the entire compound in a warm glow.

“It’s nice here.”

He nodded, then asked her to sit…the only spot was on his lap. He wrapped one arm around her lower back and placed his other hand on her knees.  They quietly sat together, just listening to the quiet solitude that enveloped the house. 

“You doing better?”  She asked.

He nodded slowly before his old habit took over of running his hand over her back.  He could feel the raised scars of healed skin that littered her torso and was reminded of what both she and Michonne had to endure.

“I shoulda killed him.  When I knew what he did to you, I shoulda killed him on the spot.  I wish I did.”

“You can’t blame yourself.  He was sick.”

“I would have taken me an hour to dig a hole.  Andre would still be alive.  The shit he did to her…I wish I killed him slowly.

_Collinson heard him scream for help.  The Lieutenant ran into the basement and helped wrap Michonne in Rick’s coat._

_“Where’s Andre?”_

_Shane chuckled and looked at the hatchet on the floor._

_“Bite sized pieces for the walkers.  He suffered real bad.  Fed the rat some rat poison and he died in front of the mama nigger.  She was easier to beat than that white bitch.”_

“That’s not you, baby.  In this world, our humanity is all we have left.  I hated him.  Not just for what he did to me, but to the girls, Mikey, Carl, and her.  But as much as he hurt me, I couldn’t pull a trigger.  And I know you.  You’re a good man, and you don’t have an ounce of malice in your heart.  Whatever you did, your conscious should be clear.”

He didn’t say a word, just sat back and let her words run circles in his mind.

“She should ‘of been buried with Andre.  There was nothing left.”  He tried to take the words back as soon as he said them.  He knew she didn’t want to know the details.  Especially with a child.

Lori leaned forward and kissed his forehead. 

“C’mon.  Let’s go back to bed.”

*****

The morning of December thirty-first was hectic, with Rick and Lori trying to fall into a daily routine of raising seven children. 

Rick took Carl outside to build a snow fort and to make two dozen snowballs for the girls to throw.  The father asked his son how he was feeling.

“Good.  Better.  Is Shane really gone?”

“Yes.  He’ll never hurt you again.  Or your mom or the kids.  I promise.”

He watched as Carl, his boy, gave him a genuine smile in return.  Gone was the stress and the urge to cut himself, as he had his father back in the house.  The stress that existed so long ago between his parents was history.  They acted as if they were newlyweds, and the petty arguments were a distant memory.

_“Rick, bro…don’t.”_

_“I’m not your bro.”_

_“Dude…dude…dude…  Look, we can work this out.  I’ll never go near them bitches again.”_

_“God damn right you won’t”_

_“It doesn’t haveta end like this!”_

_“This is the only way.  I want you to suffer.  I want you to think about what you did to Lori.  All those years and all those bruises.  You fathered three daughters, Shane.  When we went on DV calls and a kid was involved you’d flip out on the father.  You knew when they’d be raped.  And you did the same thing, but to your own kids.  That apple didn’t fall to far from the tree, did it?”_

_“Don’t be talkin about my father, dude.”_

_“You’ll see him soon.  Rot in hell together.”_

“Dad?  You okay?”  Carl asked.

“Fine, bud.  Just thinking.”  Rick snapped out of his trance and continued to spent time with his son.  “This place is nice.  And you can’t get better protection than the Military.”

*****

Lori smiled with pride as she watched Rick and her children play.  Catherine was asleep on her shoulder, safely in the warm home.

Rick made himself an easy target for the girls and acted overly dramatic when he was hit by the almost constant barrage of the snowballs.  He pretended to flair his arms as he rolled on the snow-covered ground.

Her smile faltered for just a moment when she thought of the day he was shot and how she couldn’t be there for him.  As if some sixth sense remind him of the same memory, Rick sat up and looked into the house, making eye contact with his soulmate. 

He cringed at the same vivid image, forever engrained in his mind, then sat up, letting Mikey, Carl and the girls dump snow over his head.

*****

They family of nine spent the day together, Rick having long conversations with Carl and slowly getting to know Mikey by the day.  The only distraction was spent watching “It’s a Wonderful Life” after dinner. 

After the kids were in bed, Rick pulled Lori aside and told her he wanted to give her something.  She followed him to the sofa, where he said,

“When we went on that run to the mall I picked up a few things.  I wanted to renew our vows tonight, and have you and Michonne marry each other.  I want you to have these.”  He pulled the diamond pendent out of his pocket and clasped it shut behind her neck.  The rings he planned on using for her and Michonne were already on the necklace.

“That bastard took her jewelry, or I’d have you wear it on your hand.  She loved you.”

“I loved her too.”

“That’s why I love you, Lori.  You accepted her and our children.  Without a second thought.  Even Andre, who wasn’t biologically mine, you took him as your son.”

“I love them all.  They took care of you and brought you back to me.  She stopped you from killing yourself.  I never thought I’d be in love with a woman, but it happened.  I’m glad it did.”

“Me too.”

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, she whispered that she had something to give to him.  Within a minute, she back in the living room, the picture behind her back.

“Close your eyes.”

He held out his hands and she placed the frame into his palms.

“Open.”   She said, hopefully. 

He bit his lip as his eyes scanned the three pictures.  Michonne with Andre, Julia and Catherine in one Polaroid.  Lori with Carl, Mikey, Kelly, Katie and Shannon in the other.  Then the picture in the middle, both women sitting together, holding each other’s children.

“It’s beautiful.”  He muttered, his voice cracking.

“It was her idea.  The uniting of our families.”

“Let’s go to bed.”  She said, softly.

*****

His hands worked quickly to take her clothes off, soon followed by his own.  Their mouths crashed together, the passion that they always felt for each other was never diminished.  He conquered her neck, sucking on the sweet spot below her ear that always drove her crazy. 

She reached below them and gripped his obvious arousal, wrapping her fingers around his hard member. 

The sound of her soft moans excited him more, and the only sound she could hear was the blood thundering through her veins.

After they laid together, sweaty, hurting in all the right places and waiting for their breathing to return to normal, they kissed again before simultaneously whispering “happy anniversary.”

She placed her head on his chest, soaking up his familiar, musky scent.  Eventually, sleep claimed her.

Rick laid awake for hours, thinking about the similarities and the differences between the two.  He was lucky to have the love of not just one, but two good women in his life.  They both accepted and loved each other.  He felt a wave of guilt crash over him when he realized he was happier being with Lori in that moment than with Michonne. 

He tried to keep the feeling of guilt and shame at bay until Lori gently roused from her sleep.

“Baby what is it?”  she awoke suddenly, thinking something was wrong.

“It’s alright.  Just…I dunno.  It’s like…when I thought I lost you and Carl, I wanted to die.  I tried to end it more times than I can count.  ‘Chonne had just lost her boyfriend, and she said she knew what the pain was like.  She stopped me from eating a bullet, and Andre was the one to make me feel alive again when he started to call me ‘dad.’  It’s just that…”  His voice trailed off, and he was silent for a moment.

“What, baby?”

“Like, I don’t want to say she was a rebound, but she was the first one…the only one…I looked at when I thought I was alone.  But then you, Carl, Mikey, the girls…don’t think I didn’t love her, but it was different.  But now that I have you again, it’s almost like I feel complete.”  He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. 

“I know I’m babbling, but…like…she’ll always be a part of me…part of us both.  But maybe because we have such a long history.  I’d be happy if they were both here, no doubt about that, but I just feel like what we have won’t ever be matched.  Twenty years ago today we go married.  Lots of people don’t make it that long, and we did.  The nights we were apart, I’d picture you walking down the aisle.  It was the happiest day of my life.  The Carl was born…tied for first.”  He softly chuckled.

“We missed you so much.”

“I can’t tell you how much I missed you.”

They started kissing again, gently at first before becoming more passionate.

*****

_“Dude you don’t have the balls to do this.  This ain’t you.  Officer Friendly?  All the times we was handing out?  That nigger made you a thug.”_

_He tied the rope in a noose and threw the free end over the ceiling beam._

_It worked just as he planned.  Shane was hoisted up by his wrists that were bound together.  He was suspended just three feet off the floor but was already screaming in agony._

_“This how it gonna end?  Make me a fucking piñata?”_

_Using a slipknot Rick secured the other end to the bolt in the floor._

_After Collinson, Hudson and Hicks stripped the Sanctuary of all the weapons and brought Negan’s wives to the safety of the waiting truck, two of the Marines brought in a gravely injured Simon.  The man who drugged and kidnapped Michonne and Andre, on Shane’s orders, was bleeding heavily from a knife wound to the gut._

_“I thought about how this was gonna happen, Shane.  See, when I leave this room, at some point, Simon will die.  Then he’ll turn.  Then, since you’re the only living thing in here, he’ll feast on you, ripping your legs apart.  You won’t die right away.  You’ll suffer.  And one hundred, two hundred or even three hundred years from now, whenever society comes back, they’ll find your rotting corpse.  I hope you’ll still be ‘alive,’ so to speak.  So, every day from now until humanity finds your bones, you’ll be in pain.”_

_“She ever tells you she cried for you?  Olive Oyl? She cried so much.  I kicked her in the gut when I heard she was pregnant but that rat was born anyway.  I got so sick of seeing her cry over you.  But beating the shit outta her was fun.  Makin her hurt was better.  Now, you gotta know that whenever you’re on top of her, pounding away, she’ll be thinking about me and wanting it to be over.  She’ll never be happy again.  I bit off her nip.  She screamed, I laughed.”_

_Shane grunted as Rick picked up one of the metal pipes in the room and swung it hard, connecting with his former friend’s kneecap.  He didn’t scream out.  He didn’t want Rick to have the upper hand._

_“Whenever you fuck either one, they’ll both be thinkin bout me.  I fucked them up…messed with their heads.”_

_“Rot in hell, Walsh.”_

_He stopped at Simon’s body before leaving the room, knelt and used the pads of his fingers to try to find a pulse.  It was weak, but his heart was still beating.  For now._

_Shane, once he realized the totality of the situation, starting begging for Rick’s mercy._

_“Bro…please…wait!”_

_Rick shut the metal door and locked it from the outside._

He woke with a jolt, naked in the empty bed he shared with Lori.  The aroma of coffee wafted through the house, and after washing up in the master bathroom, he headed downstairs to his family.

*****

The cold winter gave way to an early Spring, and on their daily walks around the base Lori’s belly started to grow with new life. 

They were each concerned about another pregnancy at this stage.  Both were getting close to the age of forty, but they were reassured that they had a fully staffed hospital.  Rick thought it was poetic…starting their family with Carl and Mikey, raising the ones they had with others, but having the last child together.

Carl would watch the children as the two would use a golf cart to the cemetery to pay their respects to Michonne.  The thin layer of fresh grass started to grow over the disturbed soil, but a hand-made marker let everyone know she was there. 

*****

Once they settled into a routine, Rick took a job as part of security.  Unlike the job he had he had in another lifetime, in which he was lucky to come home every night, he walked the inside perimeter with at least two other Marines.  There was enough coverage with the other men for him to stick to a nine to five schedule and be home every night.

He’d walk the kids to Carl and Mikey to high school and kindergarten, and later the twins to pre-school.  Lori enjoyed being at home with her daughters, Shannon, Julia and Catherine.  She spent her time reading stories from a book, and encouraging the baby to crawl and later take a few unsteady steps.

On an unusually warm late Spring day she took the three girls for a walk, confident that she was under the constant eye of the security cameras.  She walked with Catherine in the stroller, Julia on one side and Shannon on the other.  Their route would bring them by a small duckpond, and Lori would always bring a few slices of homemade bread.  The ducks and Canadian geese would surround the girls, who giggled as they threw the bread at them.

During their time together, she saw two figures out of the corner of her eye.  She sighed deeply and called an early end to the outing when Andrea and Jessie walked over to her.

“God, Olive Oyl.  Pregnant again?  Didn’t you get neutered or something?”  Andrea mocked.

“Have a lovely day, ladies.”  She said, as she started to walk away.

“Ya know something, Lori, we were all so sick of Rick, cryin’ his eyes out every day.  Over you.  I don’t get it.  I just don’t get it.”  Andrea sneered, as she folded her arms over her chest.

“Well, maybe you should ‘get it.’  Maybe you wouldn’t be so uptight.”

She started walking away, pushing the stroller with a sudden urgency to get home.  She smiled and said hello to Amber and Candie, two of Negan’s former wives who adopted the surviving young girls from Oceanside.  The two women started to walk away, but decided to stay close to Lori as the blondes walked up quickly behind her.

“What I don’t get, Lori, is how you can turn into a dyke.  Were you that desperate to hold onto Rick that you’d end up eating pussy?  Black pussy?  That’s just…gross.”

With a nod to Amber, the red-haired woman took the stroller and the two toddlers out of earshot and kept them busy with the ducks, still following them to get bread.

“Andrea, Jessie.”  She shook her head dismissively.  “You should both be ashamed with yourself.  Jessie.  You’re a mother.  You should be acting like one.  Andrea, you’ll never know what a marriage is like.  You’ll never know what it’s like for someone to call you ‘mommy.’  I really pity you.  All the rage you have against me…you know you hate yourself.  Nobody to warm your bed, nobody to kiss you during the night, nobody to tell you how much they love you.  I’m lucky.  Rick and I have a once in a lifetime love.  And I had a wonderful life with Michonne.  But you…drop the attitude and maybe, just maybe, you’ll find love with someone.  But, as of now, you don’t have anyone to love you.  Man or woman.  That’s sad.  And you know it is, because I finally shut you up.  Rick and Michonne told me all about you when they were on the road.  You’re a real pain in the ass.  If the world never ended you’d be living by yourself with fifty cats.  And you know that’s true.”

She turned her back and smirked as she walked away.

Candie ran forward just as Lori’s head snapped back.  Andrea had a fist full of the brunette’s hair and Jessie started punching her in the head.

As a reminder of her time with Shane she immediately covered her prominent belly, protecting the baby inside. 

The sound of a golf cart screeched to a halt as Rick ran over and grabbed Andrea by the hair, pulling her off his wife and throwing her to the ground.  Jessie backed off but was taken down by John Porter. 

Amber took care of the children while Rick insisted Lori get a full medical checkup.

He helped her to the cart and raced off to the hospital while Porter made sure the blondes didn’t move.

*****

The blondes were given a choice between the base’s jail or complete expulsion from the property.

After choosing to stay, they were given supervised duty.  They had to clean all the toilets in the detainment center and would sleep in the same, small cell at night.

Pete informally divorced Jessie and moved Ron and Sam in with Amber and the two young girls she adopted from Oceanside.

*****

Lori was happy to have pain medication during delivery, the first time since Carl was born.  Her labor was long and painful, until the soft cries of a baby girl echoed throughout the room.

“We need a name.”  Doctor Ross said with a smile.

“We always said if we had a daughter we’d name her after Lori’s mom, Judith.

“Welcome to the world, Judith Grimes.”  Doctor Ross replied after handing the baby girl over to Lori.

“Judith Michonne Grimes.”  She said, as she wiped tears away.

Rick looked at his wife with pure love and devotion in his eyes before kissing her gently.

“I love you, Lori.”

“I love you too, baby.”  She replied, smiling at the true love of her life.

*****

Hours later, the family of ten gathered in the small room, bigger and stronger, ready to face whatever the world had ready for them.


End file.
